Chapter 10

Chen Man had only said a few very simple words, and yet they were even more frightening than all the nightmares; Jiang Xichu closed her eyes, unable to sleep anymore. Chen Man always did as she said she would; her character appeared good, very easy to discuss with, but that was all for small matters; if there was a large matter, no matter what others said, she would never change her own decision.

Jiang Xichu’s breaths were very light; if one didn’t look attentively, one wouldn’t even be able to tell that she was still breathing; as her breaths became lighter, her heart’s jumping slowed, and the original disorder of her mind also gradually cleared. After an indeterminate amount of time, with even the sky becoming the inky blue before daybreak, Jiang Xichu opened her eyes, gazing at Chen Man by her side.

Chen Man had already fallen asleep; half her face had sunk into the soft pillow, a few strands of hair falling messily by her ear; Jiang Xichu carefully and cautiously reached out a hand, gently gathering her hair to one side, and then slowly shifted, pressing against Chen Man’s side.

How nice and warm, ah…

Jiang Xichu pressed her lips together, then closed her eyes.

——It’s no matter.

——I can accomplish it too, I can also defeat every mishap, always safe and sound and guarding at your side; let me be with you, and continue living ordinarily in this world.

…

The second day, Manager Chen and Secretary Jiang requested leave together; no one knew what they were going to go do; at nine in the morning, exactly at the point of the door opening, Chen Man and Jiang Xichu were in a comfortably and soothingly decorated clinic. This clinic was located in the centre of the city, in a prime location, altogether two stories; one story was rooms for receiving family members; only the second story was clinic rooms.

Jiang Xichu hadn’t made an appointment, but the doctor here and Chen Man knew each other; when she was small, this doctor was Chen Man’s pediatric psychologist; it wasn’t, in fact, that Chen Man had some sort of mental health issue, only that her parents had wanted to take preventative measures, and therefore at regular intervals would bring Chen Man to come see the doctor.

This doctor’s surname was Liu, and was fifty-one years old this year; if one only looked at her features, no one would be able to tell that she was already fifty, because she appeared very youthful, as if she were in fact around thirty years old.

Chen Man nodded to Doctor Liu, as if in greeting, and then closed the door and left. In the large room, only Doctor Liu and Jiang Xichu remained; the latter was a bit anxious, and couldn’t help but sit with her back straight when she sat down. To be honest, she didn’t feel like she was ill, only that she had been impacted by some irritant, and after a bit of time she could be alright, and not seeing a doctor wouldn’t cause an issue. Today she’d come to see the doctor only to put Chen Man’s mind at ease.

Doctor Liu could see her conflict and conceit, but didn’t say anything at all, only smiling gently at her, and saying, “What would you like to drink?”

…

Only after two hours had passed did Jiang Xichu come out from the door; Doctor Liu emerged with her, and then said with a light and brisk tone, “First go down and wait a bit; I’m going to talk to Chen Man about some matters of note. Relax; your condition is quite good, and you don’t need to be medicated, but there’s still some matters that those living with you need to pay attention to.”

Jiang Xichu smiled in return as well, and said, “Alright, then I’ll trouble you for that.”

“Haha, it’s not matter; this is what I’m meant to do, anyway.”

Chen Man stood at the side, quietly listening to them talk; Jiang Xichu walked to Chen Man’s side, giving her a consoling look, then went downstairs; Chen Man watched her retreating figure, feeling like she looked better than when she had just come, but didn’t know whether or not it was an incorrect feeling.

Doctor Liu beckoned to Chen Man, saying, “Manman, go ahead and come on in.”

Doctor Liu had more or less seen Chen Man grow up; Chen Man hadn’t drifted that far apart from her, and so, as soon as she entered, she anxiously asked, “How is she? Has she become depressed?”

Doctor Liu shook her head faintly, and said, “It’s not depression, but the situation isn’t very good, either.”

Chen Man’s eyes widened, her expression becoming, in a flash, hard to look at.

“Mild to moderate anxiety, which at the moment doesn’t appear to be to severe, but attention needs to be given to assuage it, otherwise it will develop even further, and become serious, and give rise to other issues.”

Chen Mang grabbed the clothes on her body; the outer garment’s edge wrinkled under her grasp, and she forced herself to calm down, then asked in a steady voice, “What medications are you preparing to prescribe her?”

“No prescription,” Doctor Liu said, looking at her calmly. “As I already said a moment ago, she’s only in a mild to moderate stage, and it isn’t that severe; the majority of mental health issues have origins in matters plaguing the mind; if they don’t affect regular life, then there’s no need to take medications; as long as the matter of the mind is solved, then it’ll be alright.”

Chen Man frowned, and said, “But last night she looked to be in a very bad condition; does she really not need medication to control anything?”

“That’s psychological stress; she isn’t that abnormal every night, is she? Just now when I was chatting with her, I could see that she is an energetic, upbeat young person looking forward to life, wishing to live well; this is, in fact, a good sign, indicating that she wishes to get better, and treat her illness; if a patient can be positive and cooperative, then that’s more important than any medication.”

Chen Man pursed her lips, and said, “Then, what should I do?”

Doctor Liu smiled faintly, and said, “Of course, accompany her frequently, and take her appropriately to relax; it’s not to say that she needs to always be relaxed—strike a balance between work and rest, the intensity of tension and relaxation; sometimes, work is also a type of rest. In short, right now, she really needs you; in the coming period of time, it’s on you—pay attention to her, and let her sense your company and care; she’ll become better a bit more rapidly.” Saying this, Doctor Liu leaned back, and added, “Of course, this is the first phase of treating the illness; our treatment goal is to let the patient regain health, and excessive reliance on you isn’t good, either; coming to the second phase, allow her once again to slowly regain independence.”

The more she listened, the more Chen Man felt it strange; she pointed at herself, and said, “My accompanying her, that’ll have a use?” She’d always been by Jiang Xichu’s side, ah, but Jiang Xichu still became the way she was now.

Doctor Liu, uninformed and not understanding, tilted her head, and said, “En? What do you mean?”

Chen Man felt a bit complicated, and opened her mouth, saying, “Surely I can’t have that much use…I’m just her friend, after all; the person she most depends on isn’t me; shouldn’t I send her to the side of the person she cares about the most?”

Doctor Liu was startled, and said, “Ah?”

Chen Man was still muttering, “Her parents already passed away, and now her family is only her stepmother and a younger half brother; her relationship with her family isn’t good, and they in fact are in a situation of not having relations with each other; her family, I think, wouldn’t work, and for friends…there’s just me remaining, but she doesn’t rely on me at all, ah, and sometimes is even very vexed by me.” Chen Man suddenly closed her mouth, and only after a while did she raise her head, saying, “She…she recently has taken a liking to someone; if I let her stay together with the person she likes, wouldn’t the result be a bit greater?”

Doctor Liu was stunned for half the day; the person she likes, isn’t that you? Brows furrowing, Doctor Liu asked her, “But, Manman, don’t you also like her?”

Doctor Liu said “also”, because when she’d chatted for that long with Jiang Xichu, she’d discovered that the origin of the matter on Jiang Xichu’s mind was Chen Man, and also discovered that Jiang Xichu’s feelings towards Chen Man weren’t of the ordinary type; due to the doctrine of protecting patients’ private information, she hadn’t said anything externally; but Chen Man, hearing this, assumed that this “also” was Doctor Liu having misunderstood, having seen that she herself liked Jiang Xichu, and made assumptions that Jiang Xichu also liked her.

Chen Man sat uncomfortably, and after quite a while, she said with a forced laugh, “This has all been realised by you, but don’t dare to tell her. She doesn’t know I like her, and I don’t want to let her know, either.”

Doctor Liu was silent: “...”

After a good while, Doctor Liu came out of her speechless condition, and, puzzled, she gazed at Chen Man, asking, “Why?”

Chen Man humbly lowered her head, and said, “Because I’m just her friend; she doesn’t like me.”

Doctor Liu was silent: “...”

What foolishness.

-

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