Chapter 10

Chen Man had only said a few very simple words, and yet they were even more frightening than all the nightmares; Jiang Xichu closed her eyes, unable to sleep anymore. Chen Man was always good on her word; her temperament appeared good, as if she were easy to discuss with, but that was for minor matters; if there was a large issue, no matter what others said, she would never change her decision.

Jiang Xichu’s breaths were very light; if one didn’t look attentively, one wouldn’t even be able to tell that she was still breathing; as her breaths became lighter, the hammering of her heart slowed, and the original disorder of her mind gradually cleared as well. After an indeterminate amount of time, as even the sky grew the inky blue of pre-dawn, Jiang Xichu opened her eyes, gazing at Chen Man by her side.

Chen Man had already fallen asleep; half her face had sunk into the soft pillow, and a few strands of hair fell messily by her ear; Jiang Xichu cautiously and carefully reached out a hand, gently gathering her hair to one side, and then slowly shifted, pressing against Chen Man’s side. 

Ah, how nice and warm…

Jiang Xichu pressed her lips together, then closed her eyes.

——It’s no matter.

——I can accomplish it too; I can also defeat every mishap, always safe and sound at your side; let me be with you, and continue living normally in this world.

…

The second day, Manager Chen and Secretary Jiang requested leave together, and no one knew what they were going to go do; at nine in the morning, just as the practice opened its doors, Chen Man and Jiang Xichu appeared in a comfortably and soothingly decorated clinic. This clinic was located in the centre of the city, in a prime location, two stories in all; one storey was rooms for receiving family members; only the second story was clinic rooms.

Jiang Xichu hadn’t made an appointment, but the doctor here and Chen Man knew each other; when she was small, this doctor had been Chen Man’s pediatric psychologist; it wasn’t that Chen Man had some sort of mental health issue, but rather that her parents had wanted to take preventative measures, and therefore would bring Chen Man at regular intervals to come see the doctor.

This doctor’s surname was Liu, and she was fifty-one years old this year; if one only looked at her features, no one would be able to tell that she was already fifty, as she appeared very youthful, as if she were actually around thirty years old.

Chen Man nodded to Doctor Liu, as if in greeting, and then closed the door and left. Only Doctor Liu and Jiang Xichu remained in the large room; the latter was a bit anxious, and couldn’t help but sit with a straight spine. To be honest, she didn’t feel like she was ill, only that she had been impacted by some irritant, and after a bit of time she could be alright, and not seeing a doctor wouldn’t cause an issue. She’d only come to see the doctor today to put Chen Man’s mind at ease.

Doctor Liu could see her conflict and sense of responsibility, but didn’t say anything about; she only smiled gently at her, and said, “What would you like to drink?”

…

Only after two hours had passed did Jiang Xichu come out from the door; Doctor Liu emerged with her, and then said with a light and brisk tone, “First go down and wait a bit; I’m going to talk to Chen Man about some matters of note. Relax; your condition is quite good, and you don’t need to be medicated, but there’s still some things that those living with you need to pay attention to.”

Jiang Xichu smiled in return as well, and said, “Alright, then I’ll trouble you for that.”

“Haha, it’s not matter; this is what I’m meant to do, isn’t it?”

Chen Man stood at the side, quietly listening to them talk; Jiang Xichu came over to Chen Man’s side, giving her a consoling look, then went downstairs; Chen Man watched her retreating figure, feeling like she looked better than when she had just come, but didn’t know whether or not it was a misconception.

Doctor Liu beckoned to Chen Man, and said, “Manman, come on in.”

Doctor Liu had more or less seen Chen Man grow up; Chen Man hadn’t drifted that far apart from her, and so, as soon as she entered, she asked anxiously, “How is she? Has she become depressed?”

Doctor Liu shook her head faintly, and said, “It’s not depression, but the situation isn’t very good, either.”

Chen Man’s eyes widened, her expression growing unpleasant in a flash.

“Mild to moderate anxiety, which at the moment doesn’t appear to be too severe, but attention needs to be given to assuage it, otherwise it will develop even further, and become serious, giving rise to other issues.”

Chen Man grabbed at her clothes; the outer garment’s hem wrinkled under her grasp, and she forced herself to calm down, then asked in a steady voice, “What medications are you preparing to prescribe her?”

“No prescription,” Doctor Liu said, looking at her calmly. “As I already said a moment ago, she’s only in a mild to moderate stage, and it isn’t that severe; the majority of mental health issues have origins in matters plaguing the mind; if they don’t affect regular life, then there’s no need for medication; as long as the matter of the mind is solved, then it’ll be alright.”

Chen Man frowned, and said, “But last night she looked to be in a very bad condition; does she really not need medication to control anything?”

“That’s psychological stress; she isn’t that abnormal every night, is she? Just now when I was chatting with her, I could see that she’s an energetic, upbeat young person looking forward to life, who wishes to live well; this is, in fact, a good sign, indicating that she wishes to get better, and treat her illness; if a patient can be positive and cooperative, then that’s more important than any medication.”

Chen Man pursed her lips, and said, “Then, what should I do?”

Doctor Liu smiled faintly, and said, “Of course, accompany her frequently, and take her out to relax when appropriate; it’s not to say that she needs to always be relaxed—strike a balance between work and rest, the intensity of tension and relaxation; sometimes, work is also a type of rest. In short, right now, she really needs you; in the coming period of time, it’s on you—pay attention to her, and let her sense your company and care, and she’ll grow better a bit more rapidly.” Saying this, Doctor Liu leaned back, and added, “Of course, this is the first phase of treating the illness; our treatment goal is to let the patient regain health, and excessive reliance on you isn’t good, either; at the second phase, allow her once again to slowly regain independence.”

The more she listened, the more Chen Man felt it strange; she pointed at herself, and said, “My accompanying her, that’ll be effective?” Ah, she’d always been by Jiang Xichu’s side, but Jiang Xichu had still come to such a state.

Doctor Liu, uninformed of the specifics, tilted her head, and said, “En? What do you mean?”

Chen Man found it a bit hard to speak. “Surely I can’t have that much use…I’m just her friend, after all; the person she most depends on isn’t me; shouldn’t I send her to the side of the person she cares about the most?”

Doctor Liu was startled, and said, “Ah?”

Chen Man was still muttering, “Her parents have already passed away, and now her only family is her stepmother and a younger half brother; her relationship with her family isn’t good, and they’re estranged from each other; her family, I think, wouldn’t work, and as for friends…ah, there’s just me left, but she doesn’t rely on me at all, and sometimes is even quite vexed by me.” Chen Man suddenly closed her mouth, and only after a while did she raise her head, saying, “She…she recently has taken a liking to someone; if I let her stay together with the person she likes, wouldn’t that be more effective?”

Doctor Liu was stunned for quite a while—the person she likes, isn’t that you? Brows furrowing, Doctor Liu asked her, “But, Manman, don’t you like her also?”

Doctor Liu said “also”, because when she’d chatted for that long with Jiang Xichu, she’d discovered that the origin of the matter on Jiang Xichu’s mind was Chen Man, and had also discovered that Jiang Xichu’s feelings towards Chen Man weren’t of the ordinary type; due to the doctrine of protecting patients’ private information, she hadn’t said anything about it; but Chen Man, hearing this, assumed that this “also” was Doctor Liu having misunderstood; that, having seen that she herself liked Jiang Xichu, she’d made assumptions that Jiang Xichu liked her as well.

Chen Man sat uncomfortably, and after quite a while, she said with a forced laugh, “So you’ve seem through me—don’t you dare to tell her. She doesn’t know I like her, and I don’t want to let her know, either.”

Doctor Liu was silent: “...”

After a good while, Doctor Liu came out of her state of speechlessness; she gazed at Chen Man, puzzled, and asked, “Why?”

Chen Man lowered her head humbly, and said, “Because I’m just her friend; she doesn’t like me.”

Doctor Liu was silent: “...”

What foolishness.

-

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