Chapter 24: Strange
Xie Qianbing's chopsticks paused, yet her reply was honest. "The truth is, I did a bit, at first."
That year, Xie Qianbing hadn't been able to relax at He Leyong living alone, deep in the mountains, and had furtively brought the necessities of life to her a number of times to make sure she was doing alright. Even He Leyong herself thought that, were it not for Xie Qianbing, she might not have been able to steadily pass those first couple of years.
But, three years ago, Xie Qianbing had gone up Mount Tongshan like she usually had, yet He Leyong had locked the door and refused to see her. After a harsh half year with no results, Xie Qianbing had resentfully left, and the two hadn't seen each other since then. At the time, Xie Qianbing had been resentful; but now, in the end, she'd understood He Leyong's goals then.
"From childhood, I thought that you were a good successor for studies; even if you couldn't become an official, following after the Emperor and acting as an aide and official was quite good too," He Leyong said indistinctly. "The late Emperor was highly suspicious; I couldn't drag you down."
"Laoshi, this student understands," Xie Qianbing said, blinking, and pulled her lips into a smile. "A mother loves her child, and will make far-reaching plans for them; this student hasn't resented you in a long time."
He Leyong, hearing this, fell silent; raising her head, she looked towards Xie Qianbing, not speaking for a while. Only after a period of time did she ask, "What did you just say?"
"This student hasn't resented you for a long time," Xie Qianbing repeated.
"I mean the previous phrase."
"A mother loves her child, and will make far-reaching plans for them." At first, Xie Qianbing repeated it, bewildered, and then, suddenly, said, "In this student's eyes, I've already regarded you as a mother for a long time." Xie Qianbing's words truly came from sincerity. She had a great number of siblings, and in her youth, her mother truly hadn't paid much attention to her. After, on entering Prince Ling's residence, her connection with her family had grown even weaker. Even if she were to return home for festivities, it would all be for Prince Ling's residence's reputation.
But the few years that He Leyong had been at the Prince's residence, she'd viewed Xie Qianbing as the student she was most proud of. Even if Jiang Changbai were a princess, the praise towards her could never match Xie Qianbing's. For Xie Qianbing, there had never been anyone who had paid as much attention towards her, and so in her heart, He Leyong was like her second mother.
He Leyong had said repeatedly, "Having a student like you, I'm truly without regrets in this life."
He Leyong hadn't married or had children her entire life; she'd originally assumed that she'd pass life in this solitary way. Now, hearing Xie Qianbing say these things, for a moment, an unbounded emotional movedness rose in her heart, and the words suppressed in her chest almost slipped out. But, raising her head and seeing those clear eyes of Xie Qianbing's, she had some hesitance. So, she could only press the words into her stomach along with the food, and act as if she herself had never thought of them.
Xie Qianbing was still rambling. "The late Emperor was highly suspicious, but the current Emperor will never make things hard for us. It's like the defensive clouds have parted, and the bright moon is visible."
He Leyong furrowed her brows slightly; in the end, she couldn't restrain herself. She put her chopsticks down, and cleared her throat. Xie Qianbing, seeing this, also stopped the motion of her hand, sitting upright and still, affecting the solemn, dignified appearance of a good student.
"Since you've said you see me as a mother, then I'll also acknowledge you as my daughter," He Leyong said quietly. "But there's a matter I must make clear to you; if you can't grasp this matter well, then I fear the two of us, mother and daughter, will draw death on ourselves."
Xie Qianbing hadn't foreseen that He Leyong would suddenly say something like this, and for a moment, she was astonished, but she still nodded earnestly, "This, this student will most certainly remember it."
He Leyong looked looked distantly towards the Imperial Palace, and then her gaze swept over the door, indicating to the servants at the doorway to depart. Only once she'd ascertained that there were only the two of them, did she say quietly, "The Emperor, she can only be the Emperor, and will only be the Emperor. Even if you have the friendship of growing from youth to adults together, you must never treat this with pride, and, more than that, you cannot take it as your own prosperity. Always remember, she is the ruler, and you are the subject."
Xie Qianbing was startled, as if the matter on her mind had been hit on the head, and she gave a satirising smile. "She, she's not the same as others."
He Leyong scoffed. "It's nothing about being the same or different; as long as one sits at that position, everyone's the same."
Xie Qianbing, embarrassed and at a complete loss, only mumbled, "This, this…"
He Leyong continued, "Right now, there's no one at Bixia's hand that she can use; you and I and others have only obtained the opportunity to be put in important positions. Even if, when conducting matters, there are some mistakes, we won't suffer too great a punishment, merely because we're only useful to the Emperor. But in the future, the world will be full of the Emperor's disciples, and how should we deal with it? Never mind you and I, that Regent, who can say what ending she'll come to in the future."
Xie Qianbing carefully took measure of He Leyong's words, and the more she thought, the more she felt what she said had reason. In a flash, she felt her hands and feet go cold, and even though right now, it was the scorching summer, it was as if her body were shivering in the cold. It was actually as if there was nowhere in the bright, dazzling world to take shelter, and she cast her gaze on He Leyong, as if searching for help.
"Don't be afraid, child," He Leyong said calmly. "As long as we remain conscientious of the identities of ruller and subject, and scrupulously abide by the duties of ministers, it's unlikely we'll lose our lives." Once she finished speaking, He Leyong picked up her chopsticks and continued eating, but Xie Qianbing, sitting across from her, couldn't eat any more.
Once the skies darkened, the door, so remote it couldn't be moreso, unexpectedly was knocked on. Xie Qianbing, at first, had only taken it as someone having knocked on the wrong door, but the knocking repeated, and once she opened the door, she actually saw someone who was utterly unexpected to her.
Xun Zhu, wearing a light green outfit, calmly and quietly stood at the doorway.
Remembering the conversation with He Leyong that midday, for a moment, Xie Qianbing couldn't help but be somewhat diffident. Yet Xun Zhu seemed like she didn't care in the slightest, and only asked, "Go in and walk about?"
Only then did Xie Qianbing's spirit return, and she moved to the side to welcome her into the courtyard, but she heard Xun Zhu say, "I was joking; I'll come at some other time to pay a visit. It's just that Zhuzi[1] said that He-daren living here with you all along wasn't a problem, and having a free moment, she instructed me to welcome He-daren to go live in a newly-purchased residence."
"You'd better come in, then," Xie Qianbing said. "Even if you're busy, you ought to be able to drink some water."
Xun Zhu shook her head, only wanting to hurriedly finish this errand and return to the Palace. He Leyong, who'd originally been resting inside, seeing Xie Qianbing hadn't returned for a while, had come to look for her, and so she was looking at Xun Zhu in the doorway. But before she was able to speak, she heard the sound of the door of a residence not too far away, tightly closed, open. Following the sound to look, she saw a person who looked like a servant sticking their head out, furtively peering about.
Xun Zhu silently took a step into the courtyard, and at that moment, actually hadn't seen her. Immediately afterwards, she heard the sound of the doorbolt, and when she looked once more, that person had actually locked the door. But now, the skies had brightened, and even the most strict families weren't to the time of locking their doors.
Xun Zhu's expression darkened, and she looked towards Xie Qianbing. "If I don't remember, that's Lin-daren, Lin Yingqing's home?"
Xie Qianbing nodded. "It is."
"Is the household always like this?"
"I don't know, I haven't taken note of it."
As a result, Xun Zhu wasn't eager to take He Leyong and depart, and only followed the two into the courtyard. Her expression was grace, and for a long while, she didn't speak. Only He Leyong was relaxed and at ease, minding herself as she tidied up her own naturally not significant amount of luggage, and stood before Xun Zhu. "Let's leave first. Even if it's a matter as great as the heavens, only once it's been reported to the Emperor can a decision be made."
Translator's notes:
[1]: 主子, used by a servant towards their employer. Literally "Master".
I'm really enjoying this!
ReplyDelete