Chapter 64: Reunion

Pei Yu stood in the courtyard, watching Liang Jiwen cut paper ornaments at a distance through the window. Before, she'd feared that Liang Jiwen couldn't adjust to life in the Great Li, and so seeing her acclimate so smoothly, Nanny Pei Yu was gratified. So, unknowingly and unconsciously, that tiny person grew up.

Probably because of her age, her memory wasn't too good either. The chilling wind blew with a whistle, and Nanny Pei Yu unexpectedly forgot why she'd come out of her room, and began to walk about aimlessly in the Palace. By the time she came out of her daze, she'd once more come to that desolate corner. In the time of a few months, this place had changed. Though it was still dilapidated, and the peeling wall paint didn't have a trace of mending, the courtyard was filled with a weak, warm light, the wind bringing fragmented sounds, as if someone was in the courtyard.

Actually, this tableaux was somewhat eerie; the courtyard, which had been without human presence for so long, suddenly lit with a flame, and if it were someone else, even if they'd been had even more courage, they'd hang their head and hurriedly leave. But Nanny Pei Yu had seen everything in her life, and wasn't afraid, walking directly in.

The flames flickered and swayed, and in the cracks, a human face appeared. It was as if the person who'd lit the fire hadn't imagined that there would be someone here now, and, crying out, retreated backwards, falling over, buttocks landing on the ground.

The person reached out a shaking, trembling hand to point at Nanny Pei Yu, voice shaking equally. "You, who are you!"

Pei Yu was startled by her as well, and only spoke after a long while, hand covering her heart. "I ought to be the one asking you that—everyone's celebrating the holiday, what are you doing here..." Pei Yu spoke somewhat hesitantly, and, by the light of the flames, looked about carefully, only recognising after a long while that what that what the rock by the maid's side was pressing down on was actually some paper money. Pei Yu said, "Everyone's celebrating the holiday, how come you're here burning paper money? The Palace specifies that you can't offer sacrifices—^[1]doing this, aren't you afraid of being found out and being punished."

That person had feared that, at first, and she warred with herself for a long while, and only then said, "Dear Nanny, don't tell anyone. Of course I know that, now, everyone's celebrating the holiday, and I know that the Palace doesn't allow sacrifices. But if I don't pay my respects, I fear there won't be anyone else in the world who would burn paper money for her."

Pei Yu, hearing this, grew silent, as if having thought of something, and was dazed for a moment. After a bit, paying attention only to herself, she walked over to the bonfire, and helped her feed it. That person, seeing that Pei Yu didn't have ill intentions, grew joyful. Maybe because she'd been depressed for so long, as she burnt things, she began to chatter. "Cai Shan Shan-gugu is the best person I've ever met; if it weren't for her helping me, I'd probably have been beaten to death right after entering the Palace. It's a pity that good people don't live long—thinking over it carefully, she's already been gone twenty-two years."

Pei Yu's hand, burning paper money, suddenly froze in mid-air. That person, seeing her change, assumed that someone was coming, and raised her gaze, flabbergasted. "What is it?"

Pei Yu turned her face to look at her; only after she'd burnt paper for so long did she get a clear look at that person before her. The person wasn't youthful, and wrinkles crawled across her face, but when compared to Pei Yu, she was younger. Pei Yu steadied herself and asked, "What's your name?"

That person was somewhat puzzled, but she still answered, "I'm Qiu Liu."

Qiu Liu, Qiu Liu, Pei Yu repeated to herself, but she searched her memory for a long while and couldn't find a trace of her name. So, she pressed, "When did you enter the Palace?"

Now, Qiu Liu grew a bit alert, and looked at Pei Yu suspiciously, not replying further. By the time Pei Yu noticed her own rudeness, and explained her own situation, did Qiu Liu reply, "Twenty-five years ago."

At that time, Pei Yu had already left to Shejin with the Great Li's marriage alliance princess. Pei Yu had always known that Cai Shan was an incredibly kind-hearted person, and no matter who it was, if she could drag them along, she would; otherwise, Pei Yu wouldn't have actively sought out Princess Yuehua, and taken Cai Shan's place to go to Shejin for the marriage alliance. Even urging Liang Jiwen countless times that she had to live in the Imperial Palace had only been in order to see Cai Shan once more. She'd known that Cai Shan was a bit older than her; she was already in her late days, and and Cai Shan might not necessarily still be alive. But she hadn't imagined how she could have passed already passed away twenty-five years ago.

Qiu Liu, seeing Pei Yu's sudden expression of heartbreak, grew even more puzzled. But she had a flash of inspiration, and suddenly patted Pei Yu's shoulder. "You're Pei Yu—the Pei Yu who left with Princess Yuehua for the marriage alliance to Shejin thirty years ago?"

Pei Yu nodded, her mind at this moment muddled, and she didn't have the inclination to think about the implication in Qiu Liu's words. But the next moment, Qiu Liu's words struck her head like a bolt of lightning. "Cai Shan-gugu mentioned you to me before—she even left me a letter, come with me." As she spoke, Qiu Liu quickened the rate she was burning the paper in her hands, and Pei Yu's hands, urged on by these words, sped up along with Qiu Liu's. In less than an incense's time, that thick pile of yellow paper became ash. Qiu Liu led Pei Yu to where she lived, and from the depths of her folded clothes, pulled out a wooden box. The wooden box wasn't large, but it was clearly empty, only a thin letter within. Perhaps because it had been so long, the edges of the letter had grown brittle, as if with a mere touch, it would scatter into ashes and vanish like the yellow paper from just before.

Pei Yu picked up the letter with shaking hands; Qiu Liu fearing that she couldn't see clearly, carefully brought an oil lamp over. Twenty-two years had passed, but the wax atop the envelope was still well-preserved.

***

Pei Yu:

Are you living well in Shejin still? What is life in Shejin like? Can you understand what people are saying now? Are you used to eating the food there? I've heard that Shejinese people raise a lot of sheep and horses; do they use sheep to pull the carts there?

The Palace has barely changed at all; though there's a new Emperor, we still live the same lives as before. There aren't any significant bad things, nor are there any significant happy occasions, but the people in the Palace have already been changed out entirely.

The sisters who entered the Palace the same year as you, those still alive, were let out, and new children have entered once more. I can barely call them sisters anymore; each of them is quite young. There's one called Qiu Liu, who's as foolish as you were when you entered the Palace; luckily her presence isn't noticeable, and I've thought of a way to have her transferred to my side, so I can watch after her.

Niangniang likes me a lot, and she's kept me in the Palace for all these years. Something I wonder if I'll stay in the Palace my entire lifetime. Each time I think of this, I think you were clever, asking Princess Yuehua to leave the Palace. Don't blame yourself either; I know you did it for me, and though the Palace is dry and dull, if I were to be told to leave the Great Li, I'd absolutely not be willing.

But it's lucky that you left. You've always had a weak constitution; this year, a plague rose in the Palace, and if you were still here, you might have gotten sick.

...

Sending this letter, I don't know whether I'll receive a reply in my lifetime. I just hope that you're living well over there.

***

If Pei Yu had come across this letter a few years ago, she might have cried. But now, her eyes had long since gone dry, and even though her eyes stung, she could only blink her eyes in vain.

Qiu Liu said faintly, "That year, the other marriage alliance princess was meant to be sent to Shejin. Cai Shan-gugu heard of it, and happened to have a sister who she was close with who was going to go along, and so she went to ask her to take this letter of hers over. Don't look at what she says in the letter; before, she always told me that you understood gratitude, and she didn't help you in vain."

Pei Yu said, "But, after the Yuehua Princess, I didn't hear anything about a new marriage alliance princess from the Great Li going to Shejin."

Qiu Liu sighed. "Cai Shan-gugu explained in her letter as well; at that time, there was a plague in the Palace. During the plague, a lot of people died; Cai Shan-gugu departed then, and the Princess fell sick as well. Having been a servant for a lifetime, it turns out that the most indiscriminate thing is actually a plague.

"At that time, it was rumoured in the Palace that the envoy from Shejin had brought the epidemic over on purpose, and the Emperor believed it as well, and drove the Shejin envoy back, and for the next twenty years, never sent another person for a marriage alliance. These past few years, though the internal affairs have been unstable, and the Emperor even fled twice, it's still been an unyielding front to outsiders, and the Shejinese, being beaten witless, didn't have the face to ask for a marriage alliance princess from the Great Li."

"Ah, right," Pei Yu said, having a sense of approval. "Not only did they not dare to ask the Great Li for a marriage alliance princess, they even sent a princess to the Great Li to form a marriage alliance. Otherwise, I couldn't have returned either, and I would have grown old and died in Shejin."

The candle flame swayed and flickered, and neither of them spoke. Pei Yu looked at the letter carefully, reading the words on it over and over. A hurried parting, and it had unexpectedly already been almost thirty years—from youth to past prime, black hair turning white. Pei Yu had originally assumed that the story between her and Cai Shan had long since already disappeared in this Palace in the come and go of people, and only she, alone, in a foreign country, clung to it still. She hadn't imagined that there was a third person who knew.

It was just a pity that good people didn't live long lives, and bad people had longevity. Cai Shan, who'd always helped others, was frozen eternally in the Spring Festival twenty-two years ago, and she, who'd urged Liang Jiwen to enter this new cage of the Palace for her own selfish reasons, had actually lived until now.

Qiu Liu seemed to have sunk into memory, and her eyes had grown deeper. At this moment, the sound of hurried footsteps came from outside, and an even younger maid came in. "Qiu Liu-gugu, how are are you still here? Hurry up, come eat with us. The shift at the Palace Banquet has switched and they've come back, and they brought a lot of good foot back; in a bit, it'll all grow cold!"

Only now did Cai Liu come out of her daze, and absent-mindedly called out an assent. "You go first, I'll come in a moment."

"Alright!" That young maid's voice carried a cheer, and she turned, leaving.

Suddenly, Pei Yu seemed to have thought of something, and asked, "At this age, you ought to have long since been released; how come you're still in the Palace?"

Yet Qiu Liu seemed to have had a matter that hurt her raised, and a grief that was far too disproportionate for this moment appeared on her face. "My mother died long ago, and my father died in the plague as well. At such an age, I don't have any relationship with my siblings anymore, and even if I left, I would be alone; it's better to stay in the Palace. With these sisters in the Palace, it doesn't count as lonely, in the end."

"Ah, yes," Pei Yu nodded. "After this many years, I probably couldn't find my family either. I'll probably stay in the Palace for a lifetime as well." As she spoke, that young maid who'd come looking for Qiu Liu just before once more ran over and knocked on the door. They hadn't locked the door as they were talking, and when the young maid pushed the door lightly, it fell open. Seeing Pei Yu, she stilled, and then invited her with an equal warmth to come with them.

"Ah, I won't go or disturb you anymore," Pei Yu said with a smile. "They're probably waiting for me with the Princess; it's been a long time since I left, and she's probably worried. Go on, you go eat together with them; the year's come to an end, and it ought to be lively and bustling."

Qiu Liu felt Pei Yu's speech carried some inaudible emotion in it, but perhaps because the lantern was too dim, she couldn't recognise it. She could only nod, and accompany Pei Yu to the door. Once Pei Yu walked out of Qiu Liu's rooms, she felt dazzled and dazed. By the time Liang Jiwen hurriedly brought Bi Yushuang to the place she'd found her last, the only sight was Nanny Pei Yu sitting alone on the ground.

Liang Jiwen thew herself at her as she usually did, acting spoilt and grumbling, saying she'd looked for her for a long while. But Pei Yu didn't embrace her in return as she usually did, and her body, askew, was about to fall over onto the ground. Liang Jiwen noticed the strangeness, and was about to grab Pei Yu's hand, but all she could feel was coldness. The maid behind her let out a cry of alarm, but Liang Jiwen, unwilling, rocked Pei Yu's body.

In the future, she was alone.

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Translator's notes:

[1]: Traditionally, items like paper money are sacrificed to one's ancestors or those who have passed away.