Chapter 102: Uncertainties

A jump in time, and the yinshi^[1] gong had just sounded; Jiang Changbai, attired neatly, was sitting in a side hall in the depths of the Palace. The early autumn morning was a bit chilly, and the breeze that swept through the corridor made the asparagus ferns rustle. The head spy, attired in inky, close-fitted clothing, knelt before Jiang Changbai, forehead pressed against the gold-threaded velvet rug. "Reporting to Bixia, last night at three quarters past zishi, this subject saw the Regent enter the relay station."

Jiang Changbai's hand paused, and the next moment, she set the cup of still steaming tea onto the desk. Her expression was filled with a ferocity, the pressure such that even the candle flames darkened a degree. "Explain carefully."

The spy's throat bobbed, and cold sweat rose on her forehead without her realising it. "You said that, without your permission, no one was allowed into the station. This subject and a few sisters have been hidden away near the station the entire time. Just now, the heavens had already darkened, and there wasn't anyone on the street. We'd just relaxed and prepared to change guard, when we saw a furtive figure walking nearby."

The spy paused, and carefully raised her gaze to look at Jiang Changbai, terrified that her majesty would be displeased. After all, as she saw it, the only person Jiang Changbai most trusted at the moment, besides Xie Qianbing, was Song Juguang.

Naturally Jiang Changbai wasn't aware of the tangle in the spy's mind, and was puzzling over why she'd suddenly paused. Her palm suddenly hurt, and Jiang Changbai hurriedly loosened her hand, and only then realised, startled, that five crescent moon-shaped, bloody marks had already appeared on her palm.

"Continue," Jiang Changbai said, coldly.

"We hurriedly chased after, but that person was agile and deft, and no matter what, we couldn't catch up. In a moment of desperation, I shot at them,^[2] and it seemed as if I managed to hit the nape of that person's neck."

Hearing this, Jiang Changbai was a bit doubtful that the person the spy spoke of was Song Juguang. After all, with Song Juguang's abilities, even her own personally-groomed spies had no possibility of getting near her, let alone injuring her.

The spy continued, "Afterwards, that person left, and we found this on the ground."

As she spoke, the spy pulled a piece of cloth from her breast, and when it was placed before her, within it, shockingly, was a bloodied arrow, and an embroidered purse.

And that embroidered purse was precisely the type that Song Juguang usually carried by her side.

A return to the present time; at this moment, in the imperial study, Song Juguang was standing by Jiang Changbai's side with her head bowed. Her eyes were full of sincerity, and not the slightest hint of a lie could be seen. Today, she also wore a black robe, its collar a bit higher than usual, the red-crowned cranes on the sleeves, embroidered in silver thread, faintly visible.

"You didn't even dare to extend an ear?" Jiang Changbai smiled softly, her gaze unconsciously rising to look at the outside of Song Juguang's ear. There was a tiny scar there, no larger than half the size of a fingernail. It had been caused, eight years ago, when they'd only just been learning to shoot, and Jiang Changbai had misfired her arrow.

Seeing Jiang Changbai's gaze, Song Juguang unconsciously stroked her earlobe. At the time, her abilities had been a far cry from what they were now, and having had her ear injured, she could only cover her ear and look at the blood flowing across her palm, dazed. Her mind was, at the same time, suddenly helpless, and she'd assumed that she was about to die.

But now, remembering that matter again, she merely found it amusing.

"Does it still hurt?"

When the words were spoken, even Jiang Changbai herself was startled. She saw the fingers Song Juguang was covering her earlobe with suddenly curl, her fingertips going white.

Song Juguang was dazed by the question; she hadn't imagined that Jiang Changbai would suddenly raise the question. A warmth suddenly rose in her heart, and when she spoke, it was slow and rough, and not even she detected it.

"It healed long ago."

Jiang Changbai suddenly thought of what the spy had said the night before, and recalled the bloodied arrow. Suddenly, she felt that Song Juguang wasn't so superhuman and impossible to a fault no matter what. Her thoughts shifted, and she suddenly rose.

Song Juguang had been standing by Jiang Changbai's side, and when Jiang Changbai stood, the distance between them was even closer. It was so close that they could see the other's eyelashes; close enough that they could see their own reflection is the other's eyes.

This time, it was Song Juguang who retreated a step.

"Bixia, be careful," Song Juguang blurted out.

Jiang Changbai had no awareness of needing to be careful about anything, and took a step towards Song Juguang. Actually, she'd known the entire time that, though she'd sat on the imperial throne for so long, if she really ran into some issue, she wouldn't be able to dispense of Song Juguang. The major officials in the court, though superficially loyal to her, behind her back, served two masters.

One was herself, and the other was Song Juguang.

Now, Song Juguang was willing, and she could sit stably on the throne. But if, one day, she no longer was, though Jiang Changbai believed she could still sit on the throne, what, exactly, was the price she'd have to pay was unknown. It was such that even Jiang Changbai herself wasn't certain as to whether or not she could bear the price.

Not allowing Song Juguang to go to the relay station, and not allowing her to interact with the Envoy from Shejin, was also because of this. The people of the steppes were skilled in combat, and from ancient times, they'd been the majority of the threat at the Great Li's borders. Only from the time Song Juguang had become the State Preceptor in the previous regime had they, with irresistible force, beaten the people of the steppes such that they didn't dare to return the favour. To say it another way, the Great Li's might over Shejin was all established by Song Juguang alone.

If she wanted them to exchange weapons of war for gifts of jade and silk, then to Jiang Changbai, that wasn't any good matter. And it was because of this that she didn't want Song Juguang to have any further relations with the Shejin Envoy.

But Song Juguang had still wanted to go.

If it were to be said that, at the start, Jiang Changbai had had some suspicions, whether or not the spies had mistaken the person, at this moment, she already entirely trusted in what that spy had told her during yinshi in that side hall. If she wanted to find evidence, that was easy; she only had to part Song Juguang's clothes, and look and see whether there was an as-yet unscabbed injury.

But when this scene fell into Song Juguang's eyes, a different flavour arose.

At zishi the previous night, she had gone to the relay station.

To be able to deceive Emperor Tai for so long, and be able to hold all the power in the court at the same time, Song Juguang naturally was clever. Even if she was loyal and true to Jiang Changbai, and had never had the intention to exceed her and take the imperial throne, Jiang Changbai was suspicious of her, and Song Juguang could tell.

The instant there was the slightest matter of import in the court, Jiang Changbai would give it to Xie Qianbing to deal with. Afterwards, when the matters had grown too abundant, and Xie Qianbing couldn't handle them all, Jiang Changbai had once more hurriedly promoted Xu Shuqiao, Yun Shanxing, and the others to share the responsibilities. But even if there wasn't anyone who she could have confidence in in the court, Jiang Changbai would never arrange for affairs to be given to Song Juguang.

She said she headed the Six Ministries, standing beneath one person and above all others; said that she feared she'd be too busy and too tired, and wanted her to to be an imperial companion. Others all envied that she could enter the palace with her sword, and not need to make obeisance when meeting her majesty, but only Song Juguang herself knew how much it was that Jiang Changbai distrusted her.

It was as if she were a venomous snake which had entrenched itself by her side, intermittently darting out its tongue, about to bite her at any moment.

Even a person's heart was made of flesh, and though Song Juguang knew that she couldn't stay long in the Great Li, that the day would come when she would leave this place, and return to the Sect, she still couldn't stand this. It was because of this that she'd intentionally stayed up all night, and intentionally gone to the surroundings of the relay station.

When the spies had followed her, Song Juguang had already been aware of them. During zishi, Zhuque Road had been empty, and the barest sound would be incredibly clear. Song Juguang was a bit puzzled, not understanding why the martial prowess of the Great Li's people was so low; even these spies, having practiced martial arts for so long, still only had the abilities of a three-legged cat, and even when following someone, would make errors.

Song Juguang had intentionally sounded out the depths of the imperial bodyguards, and gradually increased her speed, but after a short while, she shook them off. To intentionally reveal herself, and let Jiang Changbai know of her identity, she'd had no choice but to turn back and find the spies, and put on a farce of being discovered by them.

Song Juguang's original intention had been to leave behind the already prepared purse, and allow Jiang Changbai to ascertain her identity. But she hadn't imagined that that spy seemed to be anxious, and would raise her hand and shoot at her with an arrow from her sleeve.

The speed of the arrow wasn't that fast, and if Song Juguang had wished to avoid it, it would have been an easy feat. But did she want to? Song Juguang's actions replied to the question in her heart. She'd stood there, and tolerated the strike.

Perhaps because of her anxiety, the arrow that the spy had raised her hand to shoot hadn't been accurate, and when it had cut through the air, it had only made a scrape on Song Juguang's neck. But acting required full commitment, and even if Song Juguang's mind had detested it more, she could only put on the appearance of having been injured, and flee in a panic.

Only once she'd seen the spies' figures clearly in the treetops, and seen them take away the bloodied arrow and the purse she'd left behind intentionally, did she relax and leave.

But despite that, when facing Jiang Changbai, she hadn't lied at all.

She had only made a loop around the relay station, and hadn't had the slightest intention to go see the Envoy's condition. Even the moans that the Envoy had made due to the pain of illness, and the sound of the shattering porcelain as she'd broken the dishes that had reached her ears, that couldn't be counted as her taking the initiative to listen in, either.

But at this moment, she stood at the distance of a single step as she looked at Jiang Changbai. Though Song Juguang's face still carried its usual uncaring expression, in her mind, massive waves swelled and crashed.

Setting aside the origins, Song Juguang boasted of being loyal and true to Jiang Changbai. Taking out a heart of sincerity, naturally she hoped that she'd receive the same honest treatment. Just like right now, how she hoped that Jiang Changbai would question her, that she would pull out hat bloodied arrow and the purse, and press her about why she'd appeared on Zhuque Road the night before. Why she didn't obey her orders, and why she'd secretly stolen into the relay station.

But Jiang Changbai didn't; she only stared at Song Juguang's dazed face for a long while, and in the end, said, "Come a bit closer."

What came out of her mouth seemed not to be her own voice. Jiang Changbai looked at Song Juguang, frozen on the stop, and suddenly recalled that, when she'd first seen her in the crowd of refugees, Song Juguang had also been equally dazed.

Now, though, everything had changed with the passage of time.

Song Juguang blinked, and asked deliberately, "What does Bixia wish to do?"

Wish to do?

The sentence left Jiang Changbai tongue-tied. She couldn't honestly tell Song Juguang that she wanted to pull her collar open so that she could examine whether the nape of her neck had the mark of an arrow, could she. So, Jiang Changbai, in a lapse of attention, lowered her head, and inadvertently glimpsed that, where a purse usually hung at Song Juguang's waist, was empty as anything.

Now she didn't need to investigate.

So be it, Jiang Changbai thought, and sighed. "I forgot entirely that I'd forbidden you from going to the relay station."

Like this again. Hearing these words, Song Juguang's mind was momentarily infuriated; she didn't understand—how come, having herself given the conclusive evidence to Jiang Changbai, she still had a bearing of forbearance?

It was clearly she who was the Emperor, wasn't it?

An impulse shattered her reason, and Song Juguang suddenly said, playfully, "Will Bixia believe whatever this minister says?"

"Of course," Jiang Changbai nodded, and immediately, as if not knowing why Song Juguang was asking her this, looked at her, her expression entirely magnanimous, "the trusted aren't suspected, and the suspected aren't trusted. You and I have known each other so long, and have a friendship of having grown from childhood together. Naturally I trust you. Even if you truly had something you were hiding from me, then you would have your own reasons. Perhaps one day, you'll wish to tell me."

The words were light as a feather, but in an instant, the fury in Song Juguang's heart was broken and scattered. In a flash, she felt a bit dazzled, and for a while, she couldn't understand why Jiang Changbai had spoken so. Did these words come from a sincere heart, or were they meant to make her take initiative to tell the truth?

For the first time, Song Juguang felt at a loss. From childhood, she'd studied the art of divination, and after she'd arrived in the Great Li, she'd felt that everything was within her control. Even the things that she wasn't certain of, they only required her to twist three leaves, and all things would give her the answer.

In a daze, she thought of what her Shizun had told her when she'd first been studying divination.

"Divination truly isn't an utterly certain art; affairs of the world can be divined, but peoples' hearts cannot. You are gifted in spiritual development, but you must not rely too much on divination. Everything has uncertainties, and with too many uncertainties, even if you were more capable, you won't be able to divine anything."

At the time, Song Juguang hadn't much understood, and had only treated her Shizun's words like wind by her ear. At the time she'd felt hat, as long as her cultivation was sufficient, how could there be matters in the world that she couldn't divine? But only now, after all these years, did Song Juguang understand the implication in her Shizun's words.

But how could it need to be so many uncertainties?

Jiang Changbai was the only uncertainty she'd encountered.

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Translator's notes: 

[1]: 寅时, between 3am and 5am.

[2]: Specifically with a 袖箭 (xiu jian), a type of spring-loaded arrow concealed in the sleeve.