Chapter 110: Ambition

Perhaps because the days were getting shorter, or perhaps because it was an overcast day, usually by now the skies would long since have grown bright, but today, it was still misty. It was as if the early morning light had been broken by the palace eaves, and atop the golden tiles had gathered a layer of white dew. The wind anxiously blew the fallen leaves in circles on the stone steps, and just then, by chance, they stopped before Jiang Changbai and Song Juguang.

Here, there was only the sound of the wind. It was as if the two were competing, staring fixedly at the other, seeing their own reflection in the other's eyes. Yet neither was willing to speak first.

The servants by the side had been scared stiff by the sight, holding their breaths and watching with rapt attention, hoping the two wouldn't vent their ire on them.

"Why don't you leave," Jiang Changbai suddenly said. Song Juguang, hearing these words, felt her heart suddenly sink, and it was as if her entire self had fallen into an endless, dark hole; she had been desperately trying to grab onto something, but all that was left in her hands was emptiness.

"Understood." In the end, that was all she could respond with.

But Jiang Changbai, across from her, had long since turned and left; Song Juguang gazed at Jiang Changbai's retreating figure, and for a moment, her expression was lost. But with so many people watching her, she couldn't let anything show. She could only turn and walk out as well, but just as she took the first step, a few droplets of rain suddenly fell from the heavens.

Drop after drop turned Song Juguang's deep black clothes even darker; from minute to massive, it was as if the rainwater falling on the streets had gathered puddle after puddle.

When she'd left, Liang Jiwen hadn't taken an umbrella; now, she could only hide under the eaves along the roadside. The autumn rain had come both rapidly and without announcing itself, and outside the eaves, it wove itself into a hazy curtain. If, before, one could steel themselves and walk a few steps in the rain, now, one couldn't even take a single step.

Right now, her mind was in a disarray. It was as if, from her birth until now, she'd never experienced such a time. Before, she'd only known hiding, hiding behind Nanny Pei Yu, or hiding behind Bi Yushuang. If she'd wanted to do something, Xie Qianbing, Song Juguang, or even Jiang Changbai would all help her.

Liang Jiwen felt that, at this moment, she stood in the centre of a crossroads; no matter what direction, all of them had people tempting her. But she didn't dare to choose; or, that was to say, none of the people on the paths seemed to be worth her trust.

Of course she couldn't play at being the fool as she had before, hiding behind others, expecting them to give her protection. But she wasn't willing.

This rain before her, torrential, and seemingly mountain-toppling and earth-turning, at this moment seemed to have cut her off from the world. The sound of carriage wheels on flagstone broke this isolation, and the next moment, Liang Jiwen unconsciously retreated half a step under the eaves; by the time she came to herself, that carriage had come to a stop barely half a cun away from her toes.

It was as if the carriage had long since started to slow down, and it didn't cause even the slightest splash of rainwater. Liang Jiwen raised her head somewhat suspiciously, and saw that the person in the carriage was, just then, lifting up the curtain. Xie Qianbing revealed half her face from within the carriage, her voice coming muddled with the rain. "Go on, get in; I was on the way."

Unconsciously, Liang Jiwen tightened the hands hidden in her sleeves, and hesitated for a few breaths, before crossing over inverted image of Xie Qianbing in the puddle, carrying the scent of the rain as she made her way into the carriage.

Then, the carriage began once more to move within the dense curtain of rain, but there was another person in the carriage. Xie Qianbing looked at Liang Jiwen, who was brushing off the droplets of water on her clothes, and said with a smile, "I'd thought you wouldn't get in."

Liang Jiwen, hearing this, raised her head to look at her, the faint furrow of her brows writ with her doubt. "Why?"

Xie Qianbing blinked, as if not having expected that Liang Jiwen would volley the question back to her. She pressed her lips together, but, feeling she hadn't done anything wrong, her expression still carried a smile, and she replied, "The last time you asked me to help you, I turned around and told the matter to her majesty. I'd assumed that you'd resent me."

"Xie-daren even knows she's disappointed me," Liang Jiwen's voice suddenly dropped, and she said, "but since that day you'd already made a decision, why are you affecting at this now before me?"

The sound of the rain suddenly grew a bit heavier, striking heavily against the roof of the carriage, and at one's heart. It was as if Xie Qianbing didn't much agree with Liang Jiwen's words, and, after thinking, she said, "It's just that then there was a bit of a struggle; it doesn't count as 'having disappointed you'."

"It's just that you think I'm young, and like to get angry?" As she spoke, Liang Jiwen shifted her position, coming a bit closer to Xie Qianbing. Xie Qianbing felt the scent of green leaves muddled with mud suddenly fill her nose. It was as if the heavy rains outside the carriage had been brought in along with Liang Jiwen.

Xie Qianbing didn't shake her head, nor did she nod; she only said irrelevantly, "I'm the Minister of Appointments for the Great Li first, and only myself second. If Dianxia truly resented me, at this moment, you wouldn't sit in my carriage now."

Liang Jiwen suddenly felt as if this carriage's quality wasn't too high; it was as if the chill brought by the autumn rains was rushing towards her from all directions. The questions which had, just before, perplexed her, in this moment, had answers; she gathered herself, and looked at Xie Qianbing. "In the eyes of someone from the Great Li, what is Shejin like?"

Xie Qianbing was somewhat astonished; after all, she'd initially assumed that Liang Jiwen would pursue the matter from before and not let go, pressing the point; she hadn't imagined she'd suddenly ask such a question.

"How come you're suddenly asking that?" Xie Qianbing asked in response.

What Xie Qianbing didn't say was, towards this question of Liang Jiwen's, there wasn't even a single character's response in her mind. From birth, she'd been in the capital; even after she'd become an official, and had gone to Boyang and Luyuan under orders, all of those were within the borders of the Great Li. She'd never gone to the Western border, and the only Shejinese people she'd met were Liang Jiwen and the people from the Envoy's delegation.

They were all entirely different people; besides all speaking the same language, Xie Qianbing had no way to come up with any similarities between them.

Yet hearing this, Liang Jiwen pursed her lips, an expression of hesitation showing on her face. The two's roles had suddenly changed; Xie Qianbing had become the one pressing the point.

She felt, faintly, that Liang Jiwen was scheming at some great matter. In the end, Liang Jiwen's character wasn't that steady; when the carriage turned at the end of the street, she said, "If I were to say it, would Xie-daren be able to keep the secret?"

Just by chance, at that moment, the carriage rolled over a series of pale flagstone, its body swaying. Xie Qianbing had just been about to say that she couldn't so arbitrarily agree to this demand of hers when Liang Jiwen paused, and then said to herself, "Look at me; I've gotten muddled."

Xie Qianbing first nodded, and then shook her head. "If it's a trifling matter, of course there's no need to bother her majesty with it."

A smile rose at the corners of Liang Jiwen's lips, and as if joking, she said, "Then, if I were to say this matter is related to the next king of Shejin?"

Outside, there was a crack of thunder.

Xie Qianbing looked at Liang Jiwen with wide eyes. "That is a political matter; Dianxia needn't trouble herself with it."

It was as if Liang Jiwen had long since expected such a response from Xie Qianbing, and a self-ridiculing smile rose on her face. "I knew it."

She'd known that, in the Great Li, it was as if she were sitting in an empty pavilion; known that though the people around her treated her amicably on the surface, if there really was some great matter, no one would stand by her side.

Xie Qianbing, seeing the melancholy on Liang Jiwen's expression, hesitantly explained, "Dianxia is Shejinese, and when involving yourself in political matters, you must be careful. Her majesty's favour towards me is as great as mountains; no matter what, I could never betray her."

Light suddenly flashed in Liang Jiwen's eyes, and she hurriedly asked, "Then if I were a subject of the Great Li, would you all be a bit more sincere towards me?"

It was as if Xie Qianbing couldn't much stand this expression of Liang Jiwen's, and so turned her head. "Do you still remember Yang Zhuofei?"

It was both a question and an answer; Liang Jiwen lowered her head, and asked, "Her majesty is the most important person to you?"

"Yes. That I can be here now is all thanks to her majesty; even if I were to die, I wouldn't betray her."

"Then what about your Laoshi?"

"…"

Silence became the best answer; in the end, Liang Jiwen let go of the last bit of hope in her heart. In the silence in the carriage, there was only the sound of breathing and the raindrops falling on the carriage. Suddenly, the carriage stopped, and the coachwoman outside raised her voice. "Daren, it's the Palace ahead."

Xie Qianbing took an umbrella out from who knew where, and passed it to Liang Jiwen. "Ahead, carriages are forbidden; you should go yourself."

Yet Liang Jiwen didn't take the umbrella, rather leaning backwards. "We haven't met in so long, yet Xie-daren won't invite me to your residence to visit a bit? I really do have some matters I'd like to ask Xie-daren to guide me on; her majesty is busy with innumerable matters day in and day out; she really doesn't need to be bothered listening to such trifles. But if, having listened to them, Xie-daren thinks they're important, you can always tell them to her majesty for me."

Xie Qianbing's gaze shifted from the umbrella to Liang Jiwen's face, and suddenly, she saw a sincerity she'd never seen before on it. After thinking a moment, she nodded, and responded, "Alright."

The rain didn't have the slightest intention of stopping.

There was a rarely-seen person more in the Regent's residence. Li Chong'an had received a military summons early in the morning, and come to look for Song Juguang; not finding her, she could only wait at the Regent's residence. She hadn't imagined that, while the person she'd been waiting for hadn't come, the rains had. By the time she'd reported everything in detail to Song Juguang, the downpour had long since obstructed her way out.

As it was said, autumn rains brought the chill, and now, the capital truly had grown a bit colder.

Actually, from the time Li Chong'an had joined the army, she'd hoped that, one day, she'd be able to be a bit closer to Song Juguang. But now that she really was in the same room as the general, she wished that the rain outside the window would come to an end. It wasn't because of her, but rather because, at this moment, the frigid aura radiating out from Song Juguang was far too heavy.

The military report had said that Wei Xiren felt that the King of Shejin was far too arrogant, and she'd led her sisters to fight with them a number of times, but unexpectedly, they'd been surrounded by Shejinese soldiers. They'd won, of course, but the Great Li's forces had had injuries and deaths. This was a matter from a number of days ago; she'd originally wanted to conceal it and not report it, but somehow, in the end, she'd reported it anyway.

Looking at the military report spread across the desk, Song Juguang merely felt vexation rise in wave after wave in her heart. Jiang Changbai was unwilling for border soldiers to take up arms without permission, and, more than that, was uneasy due to Song Juguang's merits and might. The report that Wei Xiren had sent now was one which pushed her into a pit of fire.

Wei Xiren had, on occasion, assumed responsibility, and all the incidents in the military report had arisen with her; she was willing to suffer punishment. But she didn't know that she had been chosen by Song Juguang, and no matter what reason, Song Juguang's image in Jiang Changbai's mind would have to fall a few degrees.

"Has Bixia seen this report?“ When Song Juguang spoke, she felt a bitterness rise in her throat, and the jade pendant hung on her neck gave off a chill.

"This one doesn't know," Li Chong'an replied courteously, cupping her hands in obeisance.

This report had originally been long since sent to the Ministry of War, and the one in Song Juguang's hand now was a copy. If not for Wei Xiren having sent it, there wouldn't have been a copy to start with. When Li Chong'an had received this report, she'd come to the Regent's residence, and had no way to know what was happening in the Ministry of War.

That report was, perhaps, hidden away in the countless military reports in the Ministry of War, or perhaps, at this moment, it was spread out on Jiang Changbai's desk.

Song Juguang knew this tendency, and didn't press the matter, merely rubbing the space between her brows, and sighed. "I understand."

As she spoke, she drew a bamboo torch out, and lit the report on fire, the tongues of flame jumping and devouring the report in an instant, the remnants of the paper fluttering to the ground alongside the sound of the rain, even the words of "one hundred seventy-three dead in battle" written on the paper turning to ash along with it.

Song Juguang's gaze fell onto Li Chong'an, and she muttered for a moment, then asked her, "How long have you been in the army?"

"Responding to Wangjun," Li Chong'an said, standing with her hands cupped, "this one has been in the military for four years and six months already."

"Where are you from?"

Yet at this moment, Li Chong'an hesitated. "This one…doesn't have a hometown. Before entering the army, this one was homeless."

Only now did Li Chong'an's face overlap with the face in Song Juguang's memories; only now did she recall that Li Chong'an had been enlisted by her along with Wei Xiren.

Wei Xiren couldn't remain at the Western border, Song Juguang decided. Wei Xiren's temper had always been fiery, and she had a bone-deep enmity towards the Shejinese people. Before, when Shejin had disturbed the borders, she had been a sharp blade, but now what Jiang Changbai wanted was peace. Someone like Wei Xiren couldn't uphold peace.

Song Juguang thought that she'd have to bring her back to the capital as soon as possible. As for the person who'd replace her, they happened to be right before her.

"Are you willing to go to the Western border?" Song Juguang raised her gaze and stared fixedly at Li Chong'an.

Li Chong'an had long since grown uneasy being trapped in the capital; though she was nominally drilling soldiers every day, actually, it was only training with compatriots with wooden weapons. As she saw it, a soldier oughtn't remain in such an easy environment.

"This one is willing!" Li Chong'an immediately straightened her spine, a light flashing in her eyes.

Seeing this, some vigilance rose in Song Juguang's mind. "There's just one matter; when you arrive at the Western border, you can't cause conflict with Shejin."

Some of the excitement on Li Chong'an's face dissipated, but she still said, "Understood!"

How could Song Juguang not see the twists and turns in Li Chong'an's mind? She knew this wasn't a good choice either. But in comparison to Wei Xiren, she was a bit better.

It it were the past, military appointments would only be a matter of Song Juguang's word. But now, such a n order, she couldn't give herself.

Actually, it wasn't that Song Juguang didn't have the authority to move officers about; at the time, Jiang Changbai had ordered her to assist in the management of the Six Ministries, and had given her a position that was second only to one. But Song Juguang knew full well that now, Jiang Changbai's wariness towards her was far greater than her trust, and such a matter had to be discussed with her first.

Either way, no matter what she said, Jiang Changbai would always agree, Song Juguang thought.

Outside the window, the torrential rains didn't appear as if about to stop; the rain-soaked leaves slapped against the window, causing the closed window sashes to shake and sway. Song Juguang suddenly thought of something, and asked, "How long has it been raining?"

"Responding to Wangjun," Li Chong'an only answered after thinking, "roughly six shichen."

Six shichen.

Song Juguang suddenly rose from the chair, picking up the rush-woven raincoat, hung by the door and yet to dry, about to head out. Li Chong'an, perplexed, followed behind Song Juguang, and saw her toss some dark wad at her; when she looked at it, she found it was another raincoat.

"Deliver this regent's order," Song Juguang's voice was muddled with the sound of the rain, "transfer five hundred from the barracks in the outskirts of the city, and immediately head towards the Tonghe dike!"

By the time Li Chong'an had come to her tenses, Song Juguang's figure had already shrunk to a black dot amidst the rain.

That night, the Regent's residence didn't light a single lantern. By the time the rains stopped, it was already the afternoon of the second day, and the soldiers Song Juguang had led had guarded the dike for a full day; luckily, the water level had still had a bit of a distance from the high point on the dam, and seeing the rains had stopped, Song Juguang didn't continue guarding it either

Seeing the soldiers behind her, faces exhausted yet still standing straight, Song Juguang's heart suddenly couldn't bear it. So, she waved her hand broadly, and said, "This month's pay and provisions for everyone here will be increased by twelve silver liang."

A wave of cheers burst immediately from the crowd. One had to know, in a month, a soldier's pay was no more than six liang of silver; having merely stood at duty for a night, they'd been able to gain more than a month's pay; no one wouldn't be happy.

Who knew who had first called out "a thousand years to the Regent", but the sound rose like wave after wave. Yet hearing this call of "a thousand years", Song Juguang unconsciously let out a breath; luckily, there wasn't anyone who'd thrown aside propriety and called out "long live", or else she'd have to face more days of Jiang Changbai's frosty expression.^[1]

Though there was a matter on Song Juguang's mind, there wasn't any joy visible on Song Juguang's expression. Each day Wei Xiren remained at the Western border was another day that she could, perhaps, cause more trouble. Song Juguang didn't even have the time to drink a sip of water before she took off her raincoat and gave it to Li Chong'an and rushed towards the Imperial Palace on horseback.

But by the time she made it to the imperial study, she found the usually widely opened doors tightly shut. Even Xun Zhu was standing outside.

"What's happened?" Song Juguang asked Xun Zhu, her expression a bit strange.

Xun Zhu had originally been standing lost in thought, and when she saw Song Juguang, she hurried to make obeisance. "Replying to Wangjun, her majesty is discussing matters with Xie-daren and her highness the Princess, and ordered even the servants to wait outside, saying no one is to enter."

"No one is to enter," Song Juguang raised a brow, "is this regent included among 'no one'?"

Xun Zhu's expression was a bit hesitant. She followed by Jiang Changbai's side day in and day out, and it wasn't as if Song Juguang had never done anything exceeding the rules before. If it were someone else here, on seeing Song Juguang, they most certainly wouldn't even have obstructed her.

But at this moment, it was her, and Jiang Changbai had ordered her specifically that the Regent in specific couldn't be allowed in.

Song Juguang could see the answer on Xun Zhu's face, and felt a bitterness rise in her heart. It was as if the torrential, continuous downpour from the night before was only falling onto her now, and a night's exhaustion suffused her limbs and bones in this instant. She suddenly regretted having given that raincoat to Li Chong'an; after all, if she'd worn it while standing here, she'd look a bit like she'd put in hard work.

Song Juguang slowly walked under the eaves, and stood as straight as ever, as if the one who'd guarded the dike, sleepless, for an entire night, wasn't her.

But Song Juguang couldn't understand why. If, at this moment, the only person in the hall was Xie Qianbing, her heart wouldn't feel so bitter. After all, anyone could see that Xie Qianbing's devotion, and it was unavoidable that Jiang Changbai would trust her a bit more.

But at this moment, even Liang Jiwen was in the imperial study. Song Juguang didn't understand why Jiang Changbai would rather trust a foreigner, yet wasn't willing to trust in her.

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Translator's notes: 

[1]: For an emperor, the call is 万岁, literally "ten thousand years". Here the soldiers call out 千岁 for Song Juguang, literally "a thousand years", so while it's reverential, it's not beyond the bounds of propriety.