Chapter 125: Confession (2)

Song Juguang had more or less decided to tell Jiang Changbai everything, but she'd only just spoken when a sudden change occurred on the horizon. The originally fine flutter of falling snow suddenly changed to the size of goose feathers, and amid the thick layers of clouds in the sky, there was suddenly the muted sound of thunder.

Both of their expressions changed. Jiang Changbai only now recalled that, each time she'd asked Song Juguang about her past, strange things like this would occur. A sudden thread of comprehension flashed through her mind, and Jiang Changbai looked at Song Juguang, and asked, testingly, "You can't say it?"

Song Juguang closed her eyes and let out a sigh, and then nodded slowly.

The goose feather snow suddenly grew smaller. A degree of pleasant surprise flashed in Jiang Changbai's eyes, and she continued, "Then, is Qin Zhixun truly your shimei?"

Song Juguang first nodded, and then immediately shook her head.

She was, but she wasn't.

"That prisoner, is she really your sister?"

This time, though, Song Juguang spoke. "I don't know."

"Then," when Jiang Changbai spoke again to ask, she was a bit hesitant, "are you truly from here?"

Jiang Changbai's gaze was fixed burningly on Song Juguang. Yet Song Juguang didn't reply, but took Jiang Changbai's hand, and wrote with stroke after stroke, on her palm. The clouds on the horizon grew heavier and heavier; luckily, there wasn't any further sound of thunder.

Song Juguang had been taught to write by Jiang Changbai holding her hand, and now, it was Jiang Changbai who watched Song Juguang write shocking, terrifying things on her palm.

But when Song Juguang stopped writing, Jiang Changbai still didn't dare to believe it. She looked at Song Juguang, and asked, quavering, "Truly?"

Song Juguang nodded slowly, and when she spoke, her voice was exhausted. "This minister will deceive you no longer."

Shock made Jiang Changbai ignore the tiredness in Song Juguang's gaze; she pulled at Song Juguang's collar, the two's foreheads pressing together. "Then, whose body is this?"

"Since it's occupied by this minister, then it's naturally this minister's." Song Juguang's lips curved into a smile, and she pressed Jiang Changbai against the wall once more, her hand stroking her waist once more. "And it's yours."

"Then why didn't you say anything before?" Jiang Changbai, in a rare turn, didn't resist in the slightest, but rather reached out and placed her hand on Song Juguang's head. The tightly-bound hair was suddenly pulled loose, and the black strands fell, spilling like a flood over her deep black clothes.

Song Juguang didn't make a sound, but Jiang Changbai could sense her trembling. Instantly, Jiang Changbai didn't pay anything any further attention; if the weather were to turn strange, let it turn strange; if the snow turned to goose feathers, let it turn to goose feathers; even if there could be anything else, she wanted to hear Song Juguang tell her herself. She wanted to hear everything herself—and not like now, when things could only be written vaguely. Song Juguang said the Heavens wanted her to be Emperor, but at this moment, this so-called Heavens-appointed Emperor didn't want to defer to the Heavens any further.

Fury inexplicably rose in her chest, and Jiang Changbai grasped the nape of Song Juguang's neck, forceful enough that it was as if she wanted to crush her bones, and even her voice rose. "Do you fear We will disdain you as a monster? Do you think We are such a pedantic scholar?"

Song Juguang was forced to raise her head, and a tear slipped into her temple. "Bixia is the Emperor Star fallen to earth; this minister—this minister must aid you…"

Yet hearing this, Jiang Changbai laughed. "And that's why you said We are the fated emperor; could it be that all those so-called auspicious omens and signs were invented by you?"

Outside the window, the snow grew fiercer, and the window swayed. In the end, Song Juguang reached out a hand to stroke Jiang Changbai's cheek. "Those were all real; this minister never interfered with them. Everything this minister has done these past ten years has only been to increase your splendour."

"Then Our ascension, was that also increasing Our splendour?"

Jiang Changbai found it absurd. She'd never believed in fate, nor had she wanted to. She hadn't wanted to attribute all those years of planning, all those years of hard work, to a single, simple sentence of being fated by the Heavens.

Ten years ago, even if Song Juguang hadn't led forces to break into the capital, she would still have overthrown the Tai Emperor and declared herself Emperor; it would only have been a bit later. But now, the person who shared her pillow had told her, everything was fate.

She didn't want to accept it. Her thoughts grew heavier and heavier, and the force of her hand grew lighter and lighter, and in the end, Song Juguang tossed it off, but she remained in place, not moving an inch.

"Just this once," Song Juguang suddenly leaned forward and kissed the corner of Jiang Changbai's mouth, "this minister only wanted Bixia to relax a bit."

"But you never said it," Jiang Changbai suddenly struggled free, her gaze fixed firmly on Song Juguang, the rims of her eyes growing faintly red. "It was all false."

Being a refugee was false, and being a study companion was false, and being the all-knowing State Preceptor was false, and being the whole-heartedly loyal and devoted Regent was false as well. What she'd thought was a pledge of unchanging affection had been constructed on lie after lie.

Hearing this, Song Juguang's expression flickered with hurt, but she knew that it was what she deserved. So, she bit Jiang Changbai's earlobe, and as she did so, she grabbed her trembling hand, leading it to press into her parted collar. "Many things about this minister are false, but only this heart, devoted to you, is true."

Jiang Changbai didn't respond; the only thing that responded to Song Juguang were a few drops of scaldingly hot tears. What more was said, neither could remember clearly; by the time they came back to themselves, Jiang Changbai had already been pressed down on the Dragon Bed by Song Juguang.

"This is your so-called aid?"

Jiang Changbai raised her knee and pressed it against Song Juguang's body, about to press down on her; though the rims of her eyes were still red, the edges of her eyes carried a different sort of emotion.

Yet Song Juguang seemed to have heard the implication in Jiang Changbai's words, and she said, "If Bixia says so, then it must be."

Jiang Changbai's fingers sank into Song Juguang's hair, and she bit her shoulder harshly, and in the end, couldn't help but curse, "You disgrace."

The pain made Song Juguang groan mutedly, but she held her close. "If Bixia is to grow angry one day, you may order this minister to commit suicide…"

Jiang Changbai couldn't help but raise her head, her chin pressing against the crown of Song Juguang's head. "Who are you?"

"I'll obey Bixia in everything," Song Juguang's voice was hoarse, and her throat bobbed unconsciously. "Whoever Bixia thinks this minister is, then that's who this minister will be. Without Bixia, this minister is nothing at all."

"Then, if I wanted you to disappear right now?"

"Then I would disappear," Song Juguang replied calmly. "As long as it pleases Bixia…"

Her words, incomplete, were sealed between her lips and teeth, and the sweet scent of blood rose between the two's mouths. After the kiss, Jiang Changbai scoffed, "If you ask me, you're a traitor and a scoundrel."

"Then this minister is a traitor and a scoundrel."

The candle flames continued crackling, and the snowflakes continued to fall with a rustle. But even if the snow were to fall more thickly, it couldn't suppress the whines in the Yangxin Hall.

The spring snow had just stopped, and Honghailou's roof was covered in a thick layer of snow. Within the warm room, the carved window was pushed partially open, and Qin Anhe stared at the new table within the warm room, lost in thought.

"This new table of Jiejie's is almost half my yearly salary."

"Are you crying poverty again?" Chen Xun pinched Qin Anhe's ear with a smile, and said, "And who was it who took three jars of Honghailou's Snow-Splashed Spring today?"

Feng Puzhi tapped the back of Chen Xun's hand with her folding fan. "A table, made with such expensive wood?"

The old Daoist's snow-white hair was bound with a lotus guan, and her indigo robes had faded with washing. A line of heavy heavy incense rose from the censer at the table, mixing with the scents of wine and food the floated in from the street outside the window.

Qin Anhe suddenly turned, and the wooden hairpin in her hair nearly stabbed the expensive ornament that dangled from Chen Zhixun's hair. "Shifu, try a bit of this."

She picked up a food box, outlined in gold, and leaned closer, as if presenting it; the celadon plate within was filled with glutinous ciba rice cakes. "These were newly created by Honghailou's cook; they're delicious."

"Who do you think is as glutinous a cat as you." Though Feng Puzhi's words were disdainful, she still bit a mouthful of the dessert from her disciple. From downstairs, the sound of a pipa suddenly rose, and the old Daoist narrowed her eyes, looking past the gauze curtain and downwards. "Xiao Xun is quite refined; you've constructed a stage?"

Chen Zhixun merely smiled. "It's to welcome a distinguished guest such as yourself, isn't it?"

As she spoke, she took out a strand of rusty copper coins, and with a jangle, set them on the table. "Since Daozhang is here, why don't you help me tell my fortune? The King of Shejin allowed my Honghailou's caravans to travel the official road…"

"Inauspicious," Feng Puzhi cast her a glance and said simply. "Do you know what it means to spin a cocoon around yourself?"

As she spoke, she dipped her chopsticks into the tea, and drew a trigram on the table. "The bottom of the Xun trigram is broken; though it appears to be smooth sailing, in reality, beneath the waters is a submerged reef."

The warm room fell into silence; Miss Du Li had just sung "So, the brilliant flowers have blossomed", and Qin Anhe, biting a ciba cake, looked left and right, and then suddenly reached out and tugged at her Shifu's sleeve. "Jiejie's Honghailou has been in such good business these past few years; Shifu, don't frighten people."

Feng Puzhi crooked her finger and tapped her forehead. "Did I only teach you to eat as a child, that you don't even know how to read trigrams?"

Yet Chen Xun suddenly rose, her true red skirts nearly overturning the still-steaming cup of tea. "Twenty years ago, you said my fate had wealth in it to overturn the heavens, but now you're afraid?"

Her balsam-dipped fingernails pointed out the window, where Honghailou was bustling with people coming and going. "Take a look—in the entire capital, who wouldn't say my Honghailou stands alone? Even in the Great Li, my Honghailou is a first-rate restaurant. But one cannot only attend to preservation; of the business that can be done in the Great Li now, I've already done all of it—if I want to go bigger, I can only look outwards.

"Back then, when the King of Shejin, Liang Jiwen, left the capital, I gave her a sum of money, and collecting some interest on it now isn't beyond the pale, is it."

"Back then, I told you clearly that the moon will wax only to wane, yet I said it in vain," Feng Puzhi glared at her, and said, "that you managed to make it to such a place wasn't simple, and preserving it would suffice. Being in a league of your own isn't necessarily a good thing, and fading into the crowd isn't necessarily a bad thing. You like wearing red, but you needn't necessarily be the most eye-catching peony."

But Chen Xun still didn't much believe it, and she stroked the jade-inlaid golden ornament on her forehead, glaring. "Back then, you said I wouldn't live past twenty-eight, but now, haven't I already lived to middle age?"

Feng Puzhi unhurriedly tied up her satchel. "If I hadn't given you a fright back then, they wouldn't you have followed along with the caravan and trafficked salt? Then where would there be the Honghailou of today?"

Before she'd even finished speaking, she lifted the satchel, as if about to leave. At this, Qin Anhe grew agitated, and grasped at her Shifu's arm. "How come you're about to leave already?"

Feng Puzhi's gaze fell onto Qin Anhe, and in the end, it softened a bit. "There's important matters I must attend to—unless you want me to stay here for a lifetime?"

"I don't care," Qin Anhe seemed to have grown irate, and she said, "Shifu, you've spent all these years not tied to anything, and you've left me and Jiejie here in the capital, passing our lives trembling with fear, and you didn't come see me even once."

These past few years, Qin Anhe had grown a great deal taller, and she was even half a head taller than Feng Puzhi. On the outside, she was elegant and slim, and anyone who saw her would call out "Director". But at this moment, standing before Feng Puzhi, her head was bowed, and she seemed like a child.

Now, Feng Puzhi had to raise her head to look at her, but there was already a smile in her eyes. "The fire in the Board of Astronomy's observatory last month, was it really a natural incident?"

Hearing this, Qin Anhe's face flushed, and she turned her head, not daring to look at Feng Puzhi. Of course it wasn't a natural incident, but rather that, when she'd been writing talismans, she'd gotten lost in thought, and drawn a bolt of lightning to the roof.

"But since you came, why didn't you come see me?" Qin Anhe's words were still filled with grievance; day after day, she watched Xie Qianbing stay by her old teacher's side—even when there were complex matters, there was someone to guide her; it caused a lot of envy.

Feng Puzhi sighed, and said, "If I followed you the entire time, how could you become an adult?"

Qin Anhe knew that Feng Puzhi's words were logical, but she still clung to Feng Puzhi's hand, not willing to let go. "Just stay, won't you, I've already tidied a room at my residence for you."

In the end, Feng Puzhi smiled and stroked Qin Anhe's head, and said, "Alright. I needed to stay a few days in the capital anyway; how about your Shifu comes and finds you this evening?"

"Alright!"

Qin Anhe had just replied when she heard Chen Xun's voice rise from behind her. "Will you not explain at all?"

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