Chapter 134: Goodbye
Six years ago, when Wei Xiren had returned to the capital to give her report, the two had met eyes separated by the great distance of the crowd of senior ministers at court; since then, Wei Xiren had guarded the border and never returned to the capital. Xie Qianbing had never been to the Western border, and so, the two had only met each other again after six years.
Actually, Wei Xiren had never seen Xie Qianbing as a good friend. When they'd first met, Jiang Changbai had only just become Emperor, and all of the Great Li had been in turmoil and on the verge of crisis. At the time, Wei Xiren hadn't understood why Song Juguang had surrendered the territory she'd conquered so painstakingly to another without resistance, nor did she understand why Song Juguang had been so utterly willing to bow her head and submit.
At the time, Xie Qianbing had been the only person Jiang Changbai had trusted.
Back then, Wei Xiren had disdained Jiang Changbai, feeling that she'd ascended her position without doing anything at all, and furthermore, disdained Xie Qianbing, seeing her as a scholar who knew nothing but study.
The time Wei Xiren and Xie Qianbing had spent together was nearly all that period that they'd gone to Luyuan. Travelling south together, quelling a rebellion together, and then, on returning to the capital, being rewarded together. But it had only been that period of time, because not long after that, Wei Xiren had been transferred to the Western border.
That Xie Qianbing would appear before her today left Wei Xiren stunned. The words that Xie Qianbing had spoken left her equally at a loss. So, at this moment, Wei Xiren stood frozen on the spot, still holding the the water pouch in hand.
"Wei-jiangjun, it's been so long since we've seen each other; won't you let me sit down?"
With the great desert winds, in the space of a few breaths, the unpleasant scents in the tent had mostly been blown away. Now, Xie Qianbing didn't feel as badly off as she had before, and her expression was calmer.
"Sit," only now did Wei Xiren react, and she turned, gesturing to Xie Qianbing to sit, "the army can't compare to the capital, so I hope Xie-daren won't take too much offence."
Hearing this, Xie Qianbing laughed softly. "I'm merely a guest; how could I disdain my host's home?"
As she spoke, she took the water pouch in Wei Xiren's hand, raising her head and taking a gulp. When she returned the pouch, the two's fingertips touched, and they raised their heads to meet gazes nearly at the same time, returning in their daze to when they'd gone to Luyuan together back then.
It was just a pity that they were at the South and the North, the East and the West, and a decade had already slipped by; when they met again, it was hard to avoid sighing over the changes time brought about.
Wei Xiren didn't bother with subtleties, and spoke first. "Xie-daren, why have you come to such a frigid place as this rather than remaining in the capital in your position as Minister of Appointments?"
Wei Xiren had assumed that Xie Qianbing had been ordered by Jiang Changbai to investigate the border and avoid their causing any issues as soldiers at the border. She hadn't expected, though, that at the next moment, Xie Qianbing's words would shock her, making her hands curl unconsciously.
"Bixia has ordered me to Shejin; knowing that you're here, I intentionally set aside some time to see you."
Xie Qianbing spoke lightly, as if she were saying she hadn't eaten anything for dinner. However, it made crashing waves of emotion rise in Wei Xiren's heart, as if that head, with its horrifying expression, had rolled back, and had stopped by Wei Xiren's foot. She lifted a foot to kick at it, only to find that there was only emptiness.
Wei Xiren didn't know when she'd curled her hands into fists, and the gaze she looked at Xie Qianbing with was filled with apprehension. "Do you know what Shejin is like?"
Yet Xie Qianbing seemed to have long since expected Wei Xiren would ask such a thing, and she said with a smile, "The undead who don't know pain. Wasn't it Wei-jiangjun who sent such news back to the capital? How come you're asking me?"
For a moment, Wei Xiren was left at a loss for words, unable to say anything. Only after a long while did her mind start working again, and she asked, searchingly, "Her majesty sent you because of the information I sent back?"
Xie Qianbing nodded, but said, "Not entirely. Wei-jiangjun, you recall Cheng-daren, Cheng Xuange—she returned to Shejin with the King of Shejin, Liang Jiwen, back then, but recently, she hasn't been sending any reports back.
"Cheng-daren is a major pillar of the state as well. Back then, her majesty's original intent was for Cheng-daren to aid Liang Jiwen for a period, and then once the situation in Shejin settled, to return. Even if Wei-jiangjun hadn't sent word of the living dead back to the capital, I'd have to go anyway."
"Then, why you?" Wei Xiren pressed, puzzled. She'd never read the histories, and didn't know how the envoys of previous dynasties and reigns were chosen, but she felt that they oughtn't be someone such as Xie Qianbing—someone in a high position, and someone who was trusted deeply by the emperor. Much of the court's matters passed through her hands; how could she simply leave? Yet at this moment, Xie Qianbing was sitting neatly in front of her, and Wei Xiren couldn't help but begin to doubt.
Could it be that Xie Qianbing had angered her majesty?
Yet Xie Qianbing said, "Because I promised Jiwen that if, someday, the Great Li were to send an envoy, I'd most certainly go."
Wei Xiren found the words absurd. It had merely been a joke made seven years ago, yet it was enough for Xie Qianbing to travel the massive distance to the border. But the next moment, as if having thought of something, she felt herself understand.
Wei Xiren knew Cheng Xuange, and remembered she was a military leader, her martial prowess no weaker than her own. Hearing Xie Qianbing say that she'd gone utterly silent, she couldn't help the image of Yu Jiuyun's terrible expression from rising in her mind. She wanted to say something to deceive Xie Qianbing, and to deceive herself—that perhaps Cheng Xuange was merely busy, and hadn't had the time to send a letter back.
But she looked at Xie Qianbing, at her gaze which were bright at being on the verge of an appointment, and feared that, when they met again, those eyes would be a murky white; so, she grasped Xie Qianbing's wrist tightly, and when she spoke, it was utterly serious. "You can't go."
"Oh?"
"The undead are even worse than you can imagine," Wei Xiren said earnestly. "We only discovered yesterday that that Liang Jiwen's already gone mad, and is using sorcery to turn the living into the undead who can't feel pain. Before you came, I was just writing a letter to the capital to let her majesty make a decision."
Xie Qianbing stared at Wei Xiren for a long while, but then smiled. "The winds at the Western border are harsh, and it isn't as comfortable as the capital. How could Wei-jiangjun be so at ease, staying here for so many years?"
Of course Wei Xiren knew that Xie Qianbing was changing the topic, but she couldn't help but say, "I was born here, and my first few dozen years were spent living here. This place has my friends, and my family. No matter how great the capital is, to me, it's nothing close to the Western border."
"Family," Xie Qianbing pressed, "I've never heard Wei-jiangjun speak of them."
A thread of grief flashed across Wei Xiren's expression, and then longing. But when she spoke, her voice wasn't pained, only light, as if what she said had nothing to do with her. "They're all dead."
"I…" Xie Qianbing hadn't imagined it would raise the topic of Wei Xiren's grief, and she wanted to apologise, but didn't know where to start from. But Wei Xiren didn't have the mind to give Xie Qianbing the time for guilt, because the next moment, she spoke, summarising the past thirty years of her life in a few short sentences.
Wei Xiren said that she'd lost her family when she was ten; her mother and sisters had died at the hands of the Shejinese. At the time, the Western border had been far from its current peace; there had been roving bandits and their camps at all turns. In order to survive, she'd had to join them, and become a minor bandit.
But she'd been lucky; the leader of that group had been a formidable woman, and she'd regarded her as her own daughter, and taught her martial skills. As a malnourished young child of only ten years, she couldn't fight at all, and at every turn, the leader had protected her; Wei Xiren had known clearly that if it weren't for her, she'd long since have been laying in some part of the desert, having been eaten by vultures.
But good people didn't live long, and when Wei Xiren was sixteen, the leader had passed on as well. Wei Xiren hadn't even known her name, only that she'd been nicknamed Tie Lang.[1] It wasn't that she hadn't asked, but the leader had only laughed, and said that her name didn't need to be remembered by anyone.
But how could Wei Xiren forget? After all these years, every memorial day, she'd go see her, even though all that stood there was a nameless stele. After Tie Lang had died, Wei Xiren had become the new leader, and she'd led her sisters in the band to survive in the Western border, up until they'd been incorporated into Song Juguang's troops
But even though they'd become proper soldiers, most of her compatriots in the band had remained forever at the Western border.
Finally, she said, "I know none of them are here now, but when I stand in this desert, it's like they're all still here."
Wei Xiren had studied some in these past years, and in the end, she could speak a bit genteelly. "Each wind that rushes through the desert might be my mother, and each grain of sand that brushes against my face may be my sisters, and each beam of light that falls on me may be Tie Lang. They all died in the turmoil of this border, but my standing guard here is to ensure that no one will rest forever as they do."
Xie Qianbing fell silent for a long while, and then said aloofly, "But have you ever thought that, if not you, someone else guard this place, and your mother and your sisters perhaps all hoped you'd live well?"
Wei Xiren glanced at her, puzzled. "This is my decision."
Xie Qianbing suddenly smiled, raising a hand to pat Wei Xiren's shoulder. "And coming to Shejin as Envoy is my decision."
Wei Xiren looked at her, dazed, and Xie Qianbing continued, "War isn't a matter of words; as soon as a war starts, there will be countless people who, like your sisters, will never be able to see the light of the next day.
"Just now, you said that the Shejin of now is strange, and the Great Li has no way to sound out information about Shejin. Even if I were to heed your advice and remain here, someday, her majesty will send someone else.
"You said Liang Jiwen has gone mad, but in the end, she and I have years of friendship. If it were someone else, they'd be in more danger than I. I've been a minister in the court of the Great Li, and the salary I receive has been that given by the Emperor of the Great Li, and the food I eat has been that planted by the common people of the Great Li. Of course I must make some sacrifices.
"If all officials feared the strange, and feared death, then the Great Li might truly wait until after Shejin had already created organised undead to meet them in battle. The earlier someone goes, the higher the odds of the Great Li's success are."
Wei Xiren had never liked listening to such righteous statements by Xie Qianbing, be it ten years ago, or ten years later. But this moment was like ten years prior as well; she couldn't make a retort, and only fall silent for a long while, and then ask, "Then, what if you can't come back alive?"
"Then I'll die there," Xie Qianbing responded without hesitation. "I trust in Bixia; my death will have some meaning."
The two's gazes met, and in the other's eyes, they saw determination. Suddenly, Wei Xiren smiled brightly, and said, "Xie-daren, in the past, I always felt you and I walked different paths. But now, the two of us are the most similar."
"Oh?"
"Once we decide something, we never look back."
As she spoke, Wei Xiren cast a glance at Xie Qianbing, and the two looked at each other, smiling. As if having thought of something, Xie Qianbing pulled a cloth bag from her breast; within the cloth was wrapped a Heart-Guarding Mirror,[2] and a Talisman of Safety.
"This Talisman of Safety was drawn by Feng-daozhang, and I have one as well. Since you're equally as in danger here in this frigid border, I asked for one for you as well." Xie Qianbing paused, and said, "The Heart-Guarding Mirror she gave to me as well, but I thought it over, and I'm a scholar, unskilled in martial arts, and wouldn't have use for it, so I'm giving it to you as well."
Wei Xiren felt something sweet rise in her throat, but when she reached out, she took only the Talisman of Safety. "I'll accept the intention, but you can give me the Heart-Guarding Mirror when you get back."
As she spoke, she grasped Xie Qianbing's hand tightly, passing the small Heart-Guarding Mirror back to her. Her hands, which had held a dao for so many years, were covered in callouses, and their rubbing raised a number of red marks on the back of Xie Qianbing's hand.
But Xie Qianbing merely smiled, and agreed softly, "Alright."
Translator's notes:
[1]: 铁狼, literally "Iron Wolf".
[2]: 护心镜, a type of circular armour strapped to the chest.
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