Chapter 12: From a long and arduous journey comes peace (II)

“I’ll go with A Yin. But,” Li Shiyi glanced at Song Shijiu, “only after two days.” With Song Shijiu’s state of growth, she’d be an adult in only a few days, but her figure wouldn’t undergo too large a change, and she wouldn’t have to prepare as many clothes.

But Song Shijiu shot her an anxious look, lowering her head, aggrieved. Li Shiyi, not understanding, looked at her, and she curled her fingers into a fist and hit the back of Li Shiyi’s hand, still not speaking.

Only after seeing A Chun off, and exchanging a few sentences with A Yin, did Li Shiyi finally lead Song Shijiu back home. Song Shijiu, in a rare form, didn’t clamour to try and lead her, only silently shuffling her shoes from behind, carefully pushing the toes of her shoes as she walked. Li Shiyi turned to look at her, and she wanted to speak but hesitated, and Song Shijiu said in a quiet voice, “Don’t you want to say that I’m big now and don’t need to be led?”

Li Shiyi was astonished, and her brows rose for a good few minutes without falling, and she finally shook her head and said, “No.” Song Shijiu watched her expression for a few moments, obviously not believing it much, and Li Shiyi raised a hand, and removed the leaves that had carelessly gotten stuck in her plait, and without removing her hand, dropped her four fingers onto her chest. “This lady didn’t say that,” Li Shiyi said.

Song Shijiu cast her a glance, and then another, and then finally closed her little mouth, and moved her hand to grab her, swaying as she headed back to the house.

In the early morning two days later, when the birds had only just started to make noise, the neighbour’s old yellow dog chased, barking, after Tu Laoyao to the front of Li Shiyi’s door; all traces of Song Shijiu had disappeared at dawn, and only Li Shiyi, alone, tending to the bed, met Tu Laoyao, lazily calling out a greeting. Tu Laoyao wasn’t talkative, and put breakfast on the table, using the towel on his shoulders to fetch water, and scrubbed Li Shiyi’s house clean inside and out.

Li Shiyi washed her hands and sat at the table, and asked him, “What are you doing?”

Tu Laoyao replied, “Before, you sent wages to my wife, and I know that we didn’t make a penny from going out.”

Li Shiyi picked up a couple salty, crisp radishes, and said, “If that painting is sold, it’s greater than or equal.”

Tu Laoyao bent his waist and bowed, huffing and puffing, and said, “I’m not just speaking out of politeness, that money my wife took, she’s happy—there’s a lot of places in the house that need money, and I didn’t decline her. But for that, from now on, I’ll take care of all the work in your house, and you go out to look for work, and just take me along, don’t worry about giving me bank notes. I might not have any abilities, but making food, using physical strength, overall, I’m better suited than you young ladies—yesterday, Qing-sao said, you took on another job, right?”

Qing-sao didn’t really understand what really doing, just vaguely hearing a few sentences, felt it was some sort of business. Li Shiyi was just about to reply, when she heard Zhang-shen’s^[1] loud voice call, “Shiyi, are you there?”

Li Shiyi made an affirmative sound, and wiped her mouth with a cloth, and went out into the yard to see her, and saw Zheng-shen with her coat open, crouching upright as she dropped the heels of her shoes, her lustrous hair, usually in a bun, now in complete disarray, sweat faintly beading on her face. Next to her leg was a listlessly clucking old hen, and by her left hand was a listlessly clucking Song Shijiu. Zhang-shen, seeing Li Shiyi come out, smiled and called out a few words, panting heavily, and only then pointed at the hen and said, “Your family’s little cousin climbed over the courtyard wall, and grabbed the chicken in my cage.” She considered the word “steal”, and changed it to “grabbed”, and there wasn’t any indignance on her face.

Li Shiyi closed her eyes, hiding the disbelief in her expression in her eyes, then looked at Song Shijiu, and raised only her right eyebrow. Song Shijiu blinked both eyes, her face entirely placid, clear and lacking any hint of rain or wind. Zhang-shen didn’t have any inclination towards listening to other families judging issues, just kicked the listless hen, and said with a laugh, “It’s usually adaptable, always giving a few eggs each day, but these past two or three days there wasn’t a sound, and I don’t know if it would be able to produce any more in the future.”

Without speaking too directly, Li Shiyi understood, and fished out a few big silver coins out and gave them to Zhang-shen, who rose up and refused them a few times, before finally accepting them, then, leaving the chicken in the courtyard, gathered up her hair and took leave. Li Shiyi shot a glance at Song Shijiu, a soft exhalation escaping her nose, sounding like a faint smile, and didn’t say anything, turning around and walking back towards the house. Song Shijiu chased after after two or three steps, wandering after, and said, “You’re not going to beat me?”

“What’s the point of beating you?” Li Shiyi lowered her eyelids, and continued, “am I your father?”

If she were, she would have to be mother as well. Song Shijiu stopped, thinking deeply as she mumbled to herself, and seeing that wasn’t possible, caught up to her front again, and said, “These past two days you’ve only paid attention to ancient texts about Chang’an, and haven’t paid attention to me…” She abruptly stopped, and tilted her face, raising her chin, and suspiciously asked Li Shiyi, “What’s this? You, what are you doing?” She reached out a hand, and solemnly put it up to compare to Li Shiyi’s mouth.

Li Shiyi’s still smiling expression stiffened, her lips pressing together, and she asked, “What?”

“Your expression just now, what was it?” Song Shijiu used her four fingers to cover up her lips, her eyes moving in astonishment.

Li Shiyi’s brows knitted, and she said, “You mean, smiling?”

Song Shijiu bit her lip, and said, “That appearance of yours, it’s called a smile?”

“What? You’ve never seen it before?” Li Shiyi crossed her arms; though she was a cold person, that didn’t mean she had never smiled before.

Song Shijiu considered those words for a moment, then said, “When you smiled in the past, it was just like this.” She moved her lips in a way that was conservative and indifferent. “Your expression just now, it was like this.” She squinted her lower eyelids joyfully, smiling deeply, exposing glistening, pearly-white teeth.

Li Shiyi was startled, and immediately humorously widened the corners of her lips, and said, “That Tu Laoyao smiles every day with the corners of his mouth drawn back, exposing his teeth, and you’ve never seen it?”

Song Shijiu shook her head, biting her lip, and said earnestly, “That expression of Tu Laoyao’s isn’t nice to look at; you smiling like this is nice to look at.” Once she finished speaking, she imitated Li Shiyi’s smile, her large, round eyes squinting, the corners of her mouth rising high.

Li Shiyi, thinking this was very interesting, extended her index fingers to press against the edges of her mouth, gently drawing them upward. Ge-deng, ge-deng. Song Shijiu’s smile grew stiff, and, without daring to let out a breath, dropped her eyelashes to look at Li Shiyi’s fingers, and suddenly thought of an absurd thing. She suddenly felt she’d lived many, many years, lived to be bored to death, lived a terrible life. She was still too young, and wasn’t able to stand this sort of enormous empty feeling, so it was lucky that that feeling was only for an instant, and when Li Shiyi drew her hands back and strode towards the doorstep, it abruptly disappeared.

Three days later A Yin dropped by, sable-fur cloak wrapping around her snake-like figure, wearing thin high heels as she strode into the courtyard, where a half-grown girl recited a text as she shook her head and swayed, in a dark red coat and lustrous, blue-tinted quilted cotton trousers, knees pale from washing, the red hair-cord from around ten years old still remaining, a large, thick braid tide to the side. The girl was fourteen or fifteen, and because she’d risen early, had yet to smear dark ash on her cheeks, and having just washed her face, her pale, shiny skin had peach-like down, joining her arched brows, her lively, healthy appearance making one envious. A Yin let out a sigh, and touched the powder on her face, and unhappily exchanged greetings with Song Shijiu. Song Shijiu, distracted, answered with a careless few words, and then knitted her brows as she continued to recite.

Tu Laoyao was still inside the house, sweeping, listening to Li Shiyi speaking a few words of recognition at the entrance as he tidied up with the small broom, and seeing A Yin had arrived, asked if she had eaten yet. A Yin said, “I ate at the restaurant, and I haven’t moved much, is there sheep’s milk? Heat up a bowl for me.”

Tu Laoyao replied that there was, and got up to feed the fire. Before too long had passed, a bowl of steaming hot sheep’s milk was placed on the table, and Tu Laoyao ladled some out, calling for Song Shijiu, outside, to come drink some. Song Shijiu put down the book and came inside, and without washing her hands, lifted her leg and struck the wooden bench with a crash, the ear-piercing movement making Li Shiyi’s brows crease. “What is she doing?” Tu Laoyao asked Li Shiyi, mouth opening as he exclaimed. Li Shiyi shook her head, not knowing the answer.

Song Shijiu, seeing Li Shiyi shaking her head, took in a mouthful of sheep’s mild, tears unexpectedly dripping down onto the table, little nose flaring, seeming to be unwilling to say anything out of a sense of grievance. A Yin clicked her tongue and set down her bowl, and went and grabbed her shoulders, asking, “What? Which bastard bullied you?”

Song Shijiu shook her head, sobbing and sniffling, and immediately leaned into A Yin’s shoulder to cry, and A Yin patted her back, gently soothing her, and only after a while heard her say through tears, “From dawn I’ve wanted to drink sheep’s mild, but they wouldn’t give me any, but now that you’ve come, at least I finally have a cup.”

Li Shiyi said, “When you woke up at dawn, you ate two bowls of congee, three mantou, and a pan-fried bun.”

Song Shijiu, crying even more miserably, said, “So you think I ate too much? It was what I gathered up anyway, without a father who loves me dearly or a mother who’s fond of me, and I’m always disliked by others.”

Where was this coming from? Li Shiyi was startled, exchanging a glance with Tu Laoyao, who drew back in on himself, returning to the wooden bench to focus his attention on tidying up with the broom, his shifting eyes occasionally landing on the people at the table.

Song Shijiu, seeing that Li Shiyi wasn’t reacting at all, got even more upset, putting her bowl aside and turning to leave the house, running to the corner of the courtyard to wipe at her tears and continue studying.

Li Shiyi supported her aching head, and seeing A Yin looking pensive as she bit her fingernails, wiping at where Song Shijiu’s tears had seeped into her shoulder with her handkerchief, said, “Do you remember, two years ago, we met an American clergyman, and we spoke for a while.”

“There was someone named Huo something or other, who wrote a book, and there was a symptom in there similar to hers, also smiling in one instance and then crying the next, I think it was called…”

“Puberty,” Li Shiyi finished.

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Translator's notes:

[1]: 妽 (shen) is a suffix used for the wife of one’s father’s younger brother.