Chapter 59: Who sent my longing to Du Heng? (IIX)

When Song Shijiu awakened, the skies had already brightened greatly; Li Shiyi still remained her position of embracing her, and she laid on Li Shiyi’s arm, still not allowing her to become aware of the approaching reach of the sunshine, yet sensing the wonderful sensation in her palm. Like a piece of soft cloth, its inside filled with water, full and plump as it filled the seams between her fingers, causing her hand to form a semicircle. A parching heat flamed from her ear, and her heartbeat was also uneven; she was just about to raise her wrist, when she felt it jolt softly, causing her to be incredibly unwilling to part with it. She held her breath, raising her eyelashes; Li Shiyi breathed evenly, as if she still hadn’t awakened. Song Shijiu thought for a moment, gathering up her courage to shift her cheek in the crook of Li Shiyi’s arm, tightly grasping it, and then gently holding it. Her heart couldn’t help but curse out an incredibly un-virtuous profanity.

The chaotic breaths impacted her heartbeat, yet she couldn’t stop it, curled fingers stroking, and a fantastic yet subtle change arose in her palm; the submissive defence turned into a strong counteroffensive, and faced the curved line of her palm. This sensation was truly too subtle; she longed for a fulcrum, and for a centre.

Li Shiyi’s eyelashes fluttered, the shadows calm and collected; she controlled her breathing and accepted Song Shijiu’s actions without question, and when her heartbeat was about to expose a weak point, shifted the hand that had been pillowed by hers, five fingers curling away, and stroking her soft earlobe.

Song Shijiu felt as guilty as a thief, at once returned her hand orderly and well-behavedly to Li Shiyi’s waist.

Li Shiyi’s fingers unconsciously roamed away, following the line of Song Shijiu’s jaw back in a stroking motion; only once she assumed the indolent attitude of just wakening did the shadows beneath her eyes tremble, and with half-opened eyes, she asked her, “You’re awake?”

Song Shijiu buried her face in the warm fragrance of her neck, letting out a muffled “en”, and then turned over and got out of bed, going out to get water and coming back to make herself presentable. Her actions were both diligent and practised, but the entire time, she lowered her head, not much daring to look at Li Shiyi; she didn’t know why, but the touching emotions on the bed just then, as soon as she got out of bed and straightened her clothes, seemed to have also straightened out the threads of passion which had been left on the ground, causing her to have a bit of nerves, and also some baffling estrangement.

When she hadn’t been with Li Shiyi, she had thought that she had been very familiar with her, and could do any sort of intimate action in the world with her, but when they were truly together, she felt that it wasn’t enough, so much so that she still didn’t much have the confidence to be certain which side of her it was that Li Shiyi liked, which expression should be used in the early morning to be most adorable, the most natural and unrestrained. As she wrung out the kerchief, she thought; she heard Li Shiyi get out of bed tiredly, shuffling around in her slippers and walking towards her.

She gave her a body’s space, not obstructing her washing her face and rinsing her mouth, yet Li Shiyi stopped behind her, her hand slinging across her middle to embrace her, placing her chin on the hollow of her neck, only after that coming to her side to lean over and wash up.

Her motions were conscious and natural, yet brief as if not having any necessity, but Song Shijiu knew that she was pacifying her; she had seen the worry about personal gains and losses affected by illness, seen that she was afraid that Li Shiyi would have thoughts of regret, and aptly put her mind at ease with warmth. Song Shijiu lowered her head and bit the corner of her mouth, a soft, sweet, yet not at all distinct smile emerging.

The two had just finished changing their clothes, when they heard Tu Laoyao rap on the door; Li Shiyi opened the door, and saw him say urgently, “Shijiu’s disappeared, just now I knocked on her door for a good while, and…” He halted, his five senses seeming so alert they were saluting, mouth open as he gazed at Song Shijiu, who had appeared behind Li Shiyi’s figure. A Yin and A Luo, who had just hurried after, stood at the staircase, holding the bannister and standing in the centre.

Li Shiyi closed the door, pulling Song Shijiu out, greeting the two on the stairs, the four heading down together; A Luo’s steps unhurried, glancing back meaningfully; Li Shiyi returned it with a leisurely raise of her brow. A Luo smiled, tilting her head with a minute degree.

Once the group had eaten breakfast, they sat together and discussed the matter of the Xu Hao; Song Shijiu watered the plants in the garden, her mood still very unstable; sometimes she gazed at the shining sun, looking at it for half a teacup’s time; Li Shiyi quietly called for her, and only then did her spirit return, wiping the beads of tears at the corners of her eyes, with difficulty curving the corners of her mouth towards her. She gazed at Li Shiyi’s involuntarily furrowed brows, and her heart was incredibly vexed, internally calling out a hundred encouragements, and even doing morning exercises to keep fit and healthy for a while, only then returning to the drawing room to flip through books.

Li Shiyi leaned against the stairs and talked with A Luo, from time to time casting a glance at Song Shijiu; when Song Shijiu met her gaze, her eyes would light up, gazing at her figure, and her eyes would darken once more. Li Shiyi sensitively perceived her fluctuations, and once she had finished a couple phrases of explanation, after everyone had dispersed, she came over to the side of the sofa, tugging her hand to sit down near her; Song Shijiu sat near her, listening to her reading. The clear, cool voice rose and fell in the drawing room; Tu Laoyao, passing through the corridor as he swept, cast a gaze in, and saw Li Shiyi encircle her, her withdrawing into Li Shiyi’s embrace.

“Yi,” Tu Laoyao exclaimed, feeling it was sickeningly sappy; instinctively, he wanted to frown; he didn’t know whether it was the sunshine scattering just perfectly, or Li Shiyi’s voice, reading aloud, was too pleasant to listen to, but in short, he unexpectedly felt a bit warm, and he leaned against the door, watching a while, and though of his wife and Tu Sishun, pressing against his eye sockets and walking away with a bowed head.

The sound of high heels came from upstairs, and Song Shijiu involuntarily shifted her shoulders; Li Shiyi let go of her, uncrossing her crossed legs, and said, “I’ll go cook.”

Lunch, abundant, filled an entire table, ribs stewed that the bone fell away, beef boiled that the fat sizzled, vinegar Chinese cabbage that caused one to choke from the sour spice, and cold tossed white cut chicken. A Yin gazed at the foods that Song Shijiu liked to eat, and her heart had some complicated feelings.

Song Shijiu still hadn’t spoken any words, eating with small bites; Li Shiyi hadn’t gone into the kitchen to cook for a long time, and after the oil and smoke, didn’t have much of an appetite, and placed her chopsticks down, propping up her face to speak with A Luo by the side. Passing by the heights of the disorderly chinaware, from A Yin’s point of view, her serious speaking expression could just be seen, and the right had she’d placed on the table could also just be seen, holding Song Shijiu’s left hand, playing with her fingers on and off. Despite the preparations she’d made in her mind, A Yin’s heart was still sour; it seemed like the vinegar cabbage’s vinegar had poured into her heart; so, to be Li Shiyi’s other half was a hundred thousand times more joyful than she’d imagined. Yet she was a natural wretch; the worse she felt, the more she wanted to look; she looked and looked, and suddenly sensed a bizarre, strong sense of loneliness in Li Shiyi’s small movements. She discovered that in Li Shiyi’s massaging of Song Shijiu’s fingers again and again, it seemed like a child, unable to be methodical. She began to feel that Li Shiyi had waited for a partner for too long, had been alone for too long as well, so long that her surface was calm and composed, yet still was incapable of inhibiting the small peacefulness in her heart. She sighed, feeling that this was also good.

The afternoon was long; Wu Qian and Tu Laoyao went out to do the shopping; Li Shiyi stood at the writing desk and practised a few talismans; Song Shijiu, by her side, ground cinnabar for her; having practised for the lesser half of a shichen, she was very tired, and slept for a while, and when she got up once more, the evening mist was already heavy. The group ate a simple meal, and after speaking for a while, dispersed once more.

The clock struck nine times, declaring the arrival of the endless night. Inside the room was dry, the autumn heat wave the most troublesome; A Yin swung her handkerchief and put her hand on her hip, her heels tapping with a clacking sound, and paced a few steps, then turned her head to say to A Luo, “How about I tell you another joke.”

The tip of A Luo’s brush dripped ink onto the xuan paper, smudging, and she gazed at the ink spot, and said, “Alright.”

A Yin tilted her head, raising a coquettish glance, and spoke the overused joke incredibly impatiently. “It’s said that a monk came from the South.”

A Luo raised the corners of her lips, and didn’t speak for a long while, then asked her, “And after that?”

A Yin became listless, spreading out her hand. “He became mute.”^[1]

She truly had no more methods; Li Shiyi had said she was going to capture that Xu Hao, and had her and A Luo do some cheerful matters to draw it out, and the remaining people were outside to catch it. Racking their brains, the interesting anecdotes had all been told, and the treasured vintage gossip had all been told, the laughter laughed loudly, yet this little ghost was incredibly proficient, and wouldn’t come to visit. She turned her hand over, supporting her waist and furrowed her brows, gazing at the fruit dish, and drew a deep breath, preparing to once more laugh loudly a couple times, yet she heard A Luo softly say, “Sit.”

She inclined the brush held in her hand, and tapped the scroll-end chair; she wanted to say to A Yin, the two could sit facing each other and chat, and the joy could be brought together, bit by bit.

A Yin cast her a glance, sitting loudly before her, fluttering her handkerchief, and said, “Not funny?” Her crossed legs swung, like an impetuous cat.

“It has some humour,” A Luo said. Yet she didn’t know if it was the joke, or if it was A Yin.

A Yin wasn’t satisfied, her index finger rising to her temple, and she thought a moment, inclining her eyes to A Luo’s beautiful cheek, and enchantingly and delicately raised her brow. “I’ll say another one.”

A Luo nodded, and saw A Yin raise her fingers, winding around the table, and walked over her, inclining her body to sit on her lap, her jade arms embracing her slender neck, teasing her hair as she said, “It’s said that an A Luo came from the South, and an A Yin came from the South.” Her forehead pressed against A Luo’s and her voice and expression were both seductive, not like a joke, but like a flirtation.

A Luo set down the brush, and gazed into her eyes. “And after that?”

After that.

A Yin pressed gently against her head, stretching out her pointed chin, lips curled inwards. A Luo’s back faintly stiffened, and then under A Yin’s water-gentle tender sentiments, softened, her hand climbing up from her waist, supporting her back.

One moment, two moments, three moments. Breaths intermingling, lips and teeth passionate. In the faint feminine fragrance, they could hear Tu Laoyao delightedly call loudly, “Caught it!”

A Yin’s gaze shifted, and she let go of A Luo’s lip she had been nibbling lightly, a brilliant red, her eyes narrowed, having a slight indistinctness and clarity. Outside was incredibly noisy, yet A Yin didn’t have half an intent to go outside; she hesitantly pressed the rouge that had been sampled by A Luo’s ear, the orchid-like scent causing everything to become quiet. “So, when I kiss you, you become this happy.”

Surpassing listening to a thousand brilliant and varied street stall gossips, surpassing her speaking ten thousand jokes.

She supported her hand on A Luo’s chest, sensing the fervent beat within it. She looked at her, as if seeing some hidden sentiments that had been exposed.

A Luo calmly gazed back. A Yin felt that her gaze had become a drop of fresh water, dripping into the middle of the lake in her heart; negligible, yet she truly and sincerely had heard it.

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Translator's notes:

[1]: Reference to the tongue twister “the monk and the mute” (English translation, video).