Chapter 101: Yet with the xiansheng's closed jade coffin (XII)

Douding'r's home hadn't been this bustling in a long while; his aunt, Shijiu, Shiyi, Tu Laoyao, and two young children sat neatly around a table, the sounds of pots and bowls and ladles and plates bumping against each other rising and falling in succession; the couple of people had taken off the strips of cloth, and, washing their hands, had started to eat; only Chun Ping still covered her face, a leg lifted in habit, raising a mantou underneath.

Eating like this wasn't convenient at all; she could have taken a bowl of food and gone to eat in her room alone, but she didn't much want to leave Song Shijiu, and so she went through this exasperatingly slow, incredibly complicated process.

Song Shijiu asked a bit about his Sanshu's condition, and then urged his aunt to take the medicinal decoction back in a while, single-mindedly raking up a few mouthfuls of food, still not having much inclination to get close to Li Shiyi.

Only on seeing everyone had more or less finished eating did she press her lips together and speak. "This house has three wings; I've cleaned all of them, and in a bit, once mattresses are put down, you can rest; Tu Laoyao will stay in the east wing, Shi…you'll stay in the west wing, Chun Ping and I…"

"Can I stay with you?" Li Shiyi held her bowl, and raised her gaze to look at her.

In a split second, the table fell silent; the aunt set her chopsticks down, the back of her hand wiping her nose, and blinked, casting a glance at Song Shijiu. Tu Laoyao chuckled mutedly a couple times, and then picked up some vegetables; Xiao Douding belched quietly, staring at the two, rocking the slender bench back and forth with a creaking sound; Chun Ping bit a small bite of the mantou, and took it out from under her mask, and turned to ask Song Shijiu, "I want to sleep alone, is that okay?"

Song Shijiu whetted her lower lip, not speaking. Unexpectedly, it was Tu Laoyao who let out a "hai" and said to Chun Ping, "Of course, of course, of course, you sleep on your own. Shiyi-jie, I'll trouble you to squeeze in with Shijiu." Tu Laoyao's cheeks were stuffed with food, and even his smile was bulging. "Menfolk like me, naturally I have to take up a full room."

Li Shiyi docily lowered her lashes, letting out an "en", the corners of her lips pressing together slightly, and whether she was happy or unhappy was inscrutable.

The curtain of night didn't care whether one was willing or unwilling, always arriving on time; the kerosene lamps in the siheyuan were lit, but they weren't comparable to the bright moonlight spilling onto the courtyard; Song Shijiu had washed up early on, and changed into cotton sleepwear, gazing at the old locust tree in a daze as she parted her hair. Li Shiyi was downstairs, chatting with Tu Laoyao, as if intentionally having let her go upstairs first, but also not.

If Li Shiyi had followed after, she could, perhaps, have restrained her own thoughts; but with Li Shiyi downstairs, her thoughts weren't as controlled. She stroked perfumed oil, applying face powder, a bit of crumbled rouge twirled in her hand, her actions lighter and lighter, merely so that she could hear the sound of Li Shiyi's motions downstairs.

After a few times, she finally became certain; Li Shiyi had done it intentionally. Intentionally dawdled and not come upstairs, making the time Song Shijiu missed her a bit longer, and then a bit longer still.

Song Shijiu was somewhat angry; Li Shiyi was always leading her along like letting a kite out, provoking her imagination, grinding her interest, crushing it until it was even finer than talcum powder, scattered and fragmentary and adhering to the seams between her fingers, so that even clapping her hands wouldn't fully get it clean.

Song Shijiu rose; she might as well go to sleep first; but she paused as she was about to extinguish the lamp, and finally left the light alone.

The moment she laid down, she suddenly felt that ought not to take Li Shiyi as bad as she'd thought; she thought of Li Shiyi's attitude when she'd asked her "Are you cold?"; at the time, she'd been sitting by her side, and had shifted her shoulders to preserve a close, yet not offensive distance, her forearms resting on her thighs, leaning forward slightly to look at her expression, the fingers which had fallen to the side idly stroking the rough edge of her grey coat. It was just this, which couldn't be any more insignificant, which caused Song Shijiu to seize onto her helplessness.

In the corridor, the sound of rhythmic footsteps rose, like rain drumming against banana leaves, growing closer and closer, gradually dampening the pith. Song Shijiu closed her eyes, and listened to the door be softly pushed open, and then after a few more moments, close again.

The isolated gaze provoked a boundless imagination; Song Shijiu didn't know whether, in those few moments, Li Shiyi had been looking at her; if, when she'd entered the room, she'd first looked at her. She cared quite a lot about this detail, such that it caused her heart and liver to feel itchy.

Yet she didn't express anything at all, only silently listening to Li Shiyi walk to the table; it ought to be that she had already made herself presentable, and was merely immediately taking layer after layer of her clothes off; that very innermost layer rubbed against her skin, rustling, and when Song Shijiu heard it, it was as if a prologue of a chance encounter.

Song Shijiu still didn't open her eyes; the ring finger by the side of her face twitched, as if concealing that error of her heartbeat. She heard Li Shiyi sniffle, seeming as if she'd caught a cold, and then loosen her motions, pouring a cup of hot water, her throat bobbing a few times, though she'd only drunk a couple mouthfuls, and then the bottom of the cup let out a soft knocking sound, having been set down, and Li Shiyi blew out the oil lamp, walking over to the low bed, drawing back the quilt, the cool fragrance bringing with it the chill, pressing against Song Shijiu's skin, causing the fine hairs at the back of her neck to stand up in a flash.

Li Shiyi paused again, as if, in the moonlight, she was looking at the slight tremble of the back of Song Shijiu's neck; she didn't say anything at all, slipping under the covers, her shoulder gently nearing Song Shijiu's stiff back, laying down with a great degree of propriety. Song Shijiu felt disappointed, though she didn't know what she herself had been expecting. She let loose the hopes in a long, long breath, striving to release them so they left no trace.

The quilt rose in the middle, the silky, cool breeze pouring in, making the place touching Li Shiyi incredibly hot in contrast, so hot it was slightly burning. Song Shijiu waited silently for a while; besides ocassionally coughing a couple times, Li Shiyi didn't make any more movements. Song Shijiu's taut back relaxed, opening her eyes facing away from Li Shiyi, sinking into the soft quilt.

She didn't know how long had passed when she heard the long, rhythmic sounds of breaths, as if Li Shiyi had fallen into a deep sleep; Song Shijiu shifted her neck, yet she didn't incline her face at all, closing her eyes, and after a short while, dizzily fell into sleep.

Counting Song Shijiu's breaths, Li Shiyi, laying flat on her back, opened her eyes. By her side, Song Shijiu always fell into slumber incredibly quickly, even she wasn't too pleased in her thoughts.

Li Shiyi inclined her head, gazing at her smooth nape, a few strands of hair gathered meanderingly there, as if unintentionally divulging an adorableness, the curve of her body as exquisite as jewels, rising and falling along with her breathing.

Li Shiyi had intentionally delayed her arrival, and also intentionally acted as if she were deeply asleep to coax Song Shijiu into slumber, merely wanting to look at her like this. She wasn't playing with her heart, only fearing that she couldn't control herself, and her speech wouldn't be pretty, or she'd speak too eagerly, and cause Song Shijiu's brows to furrow.

From the first time she'd seen Song Shijiu, she'd greatly, greatly wanted to embrace her; not merely embracing her; she'd wanted even more.

She gazed at Song Shijiu's tranquil figure, and began to arrange the beginnings that she hadn't thought of before. She was a woman, even if, in the past, she hadn't lived much like a woman; she didn't know if it was because she'd taken up the wrong profession, but her character had always been cold, and she hadn't ever had any improper desires.

The chaos of the world, the chaos of passion; the false phoenix, illusory firebird play; the courtesans of brothels and entertainment houses, people pinching their desires in money and rolling them between their fingers, indulging with abandon, anyone having sex with anyone, none of it counting as uncommon.

So, when there had been a woman chasing after her, she had never thought about sex; when an enchantress had wanted to treat her well, she'd never considered masculine or feminine. She was like a spectator of the world, looking at the amorous feelings others had held up with a cold gaze, and had never been seduced.

This "never" had stopped at Song Shijiu.

With her, she finally realised that the chaotic passion she'd seen before was the same dirt from head to toe as the ways of the world in the turmoil and chaos of war; they were the ugly, ragged skin plaster she'd placed on her face before; she'd put it on before, and it had fused together with the morals of the time; but Song Shijiu the clean skin beneath that strip of plaster, glossy and smooth, causing Li Shiyi to face herself, and become herself.

And in this moment, she longed for intimacy, longed for entanglement; wanted to use her own empty palms to trace over the alluring curve by her side, stroke the rising parts, and fill up the sunken portions. She wanted to do thinks with her that she couldn't do in this world without her, and wanted to let her do these things which couldn't be done without her.

Li Shiyi turned her head, and let out a soft sigh.

The second morning, Song Shijiu rose exceedingly early; when Li Shiyi, her eyes bruise-black, woke, and turned around, the bedding by her side didn't even have any remnants of warmth. She changed her clothes, and went to the courtyard to make herself presentable, heading outside as she brushed aside the strands of hair that had fallen into her clothes.

Song Shijiu was just carrying a bowl of dough; she set it on the table, and patted some flour onto the cutting board, about to pluck out stuffing to fill dumplings. This village hardly had any food, and the filling was merely some fragmentary bits of Chinese cabbage. Seeing Li Shiyi had arrived, she raised her half flour-coated hands, and said softly, "You're awake."

Li Shiyi smiled at her, and she inclined her face, somewhat uncomfortable. Li Shiyi came over, considering for a moment, and then said, "In a bit, after eating, I want to talk to you." Her index finger was curved, her finger drawing a circle on the tabletop; Song Shijiu cast a glance, and before she could reply, she heard the sound of Xiao Douding's alarm from outside.

Song Shijiu hurriedly dusted off her hands, and, along with Li Shiyi, headed outside, and saw Xiao Douding hurrying over from his own street, one of his shoes having fallen out, calling out in gasps, "Shijiu-jie! My Sanshu's about to die!"

Song Shijiu's heart shuddered, and she hurried forward to bring him in. Xiao Douding gasped and panted, the cloth covering up his mouth and nose sucked into his mouth from his breaths, causing him to feel nauseated; he pulled off the mask and ran to Song Shijiu, wiping at the sweat on his forehead, trembling as he looked at Song Shijiu.

Song Shijiu crouched down, her hands on his shoulders, and he gasped out, "My, my Sanshu isn't well, he started vomiting, he's going to die!" His mother and father had also been like this before they'd died; he remembered it clearly.

Song Shijiu's heart tightened, and she was about to rise, when Xiao Douding's eyes widened, and he spat out a mouthful of blood. The majority of the blood splattered on her lapel, the remainder foaming and splashing on her chin; she gazed at Xiao Douding's lips; only the very centre had a bit of blood, the rest of them deathly pale. Xiao Douding dragged in a breath, raising a hand to wipe at them, and lowered his head, blinking a few times, and said with effort, "I'm going to die as well."

These words were spoken both dully and indifferently, even more mechanical than the Sanzijing that he recited.

Li Shiyi's jaw tightened, and she gazed at the silent Song Shijiu. Song Shijiu's shoulders were motionless, and the hands grasping Xiao Douding were somewhat exerting effort, and then she gently used her thump to wipe the corner of his mouth clean, and, with the next motion, she pulled out the unremarkable, iron-black hairpin in her hair out, her wrist turning in a few circles, and with a swishing sound, it turned into a closed folding fan. She held the fan in her palm, and stood up, turning her head to look at Li Shiyi. After that, she led Xiao Douding towards his Sanshu's home.

"You can't die," she said gently.

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