Chapter 117: Confrontation

The scent of ambergris hung in the hall, and the candle flames lit on the table swayed and flickered. Song Juguang picked up a few of the memorials and casually glanced over them, a smile of understanding appearing on her face. "It's merely that these imperial censors are making conjecture at my intentions; every word and every action this minister does is for the Great Li."

"For the Great Li," Jiang Changbai's voice was still harsh, "can you do as you please for the Great Li? Do you hold Us as in esteem? Song Juguang, We have not treated you poorly."

Hearing that, Song Juguang bowed her head, a sudden, strange sensation arising in her heart. From the time Jiang Changbai had ascended the throne, this was the first time she'd used the imperial "We" when it was only the two of them. She gazed furtively about the surroundings, and found that there were a number of people hidden away.

She'd been Regent for too long now—she really wasn't as perceptive as she had been before, Song Juguang thought to herself, but her expression didn't show the slightest vexation. She rose and ascended the steps, coming to stand before Jiang Changbai.

"Whether or not I've held you in esteem, Bixia must know better than this minister," Song Juguang said, a faint smile on her face as she spoke. "The matters used in these memorials to impeach this subject are all libel; Bixia, please trust in this minister."

"You mean to say, We don't trust in you?" Jiang Changbai looked at Song Juguang coldly, her expression lacking the caution and prudence of the past.

In these past few years, the former Cangwei army had long since been disbanded and sent to various regions, and even the high ranking officers had been replaced. The officials newly appointed from the keju only knew the Emperor as well, and weren't familiar with the Regent. Now, the reputation that Song Juguang had as the Regent in the court was a far cry from what it had been before.

"Whether your majesty trusts in this minister is not for this minister to say," Song Juguang smiled, approaching a few steps as she spoke. "But hiding so many people in the hall like now, that truly can't be counted as trust."

As she spoke, Song Juguang pointed upwards; standing by Jiang Changbai, she could easily see those imperial guards lying in ambush in the hidden corners. With her conjecture proved, Song Juguang still didn't do anything much, merely stared fixedly at Jiang Changbai.

"Since the Regent has discovered them," Jiang Changbai drawled, "then, why don't you come on out." Only now did the imperial guards hidden away reveal themselves; counting carefully, there were dozens of them.

"Bixia wishes to kill this minister?" Song Juguang asked the question as if in jest, but her gaze never left Jiang Changbai's face, not even for a moment.

Hearing this, Jiang Changbai smiled, turning her head so she was no longer looking at Song Juguang directly, but rather looking at the guards at the foot of the steps. "We said your skills were far from the best. Take a look; you were discovered before you even bared your blades."

Though Jiang Changbai spoke with a smile, her words were harsh in the extreme. She'd just spoken when the blades in their hands were unsheathed in response. The guards gave Song Juguang her answer with their actions, but Song Juguang merely smiled, and said, "Bixia claims that this minister doesn't hold you in esteem, yet you've only arranged this many to claim this minister's life; you really are underestimating this minister greatly."

Then, with a mere wave of her hand, the imperial guards watched with alarm as the blades in their hands were cut in two. Fine steel broke like rotted wood, and the guards looked at Jiang Changbai in disbelief, but Jiang Changbai was equally as shocked.

Jiang Changbai couldn't help but curl her grasp at the armrests, the joints of her fingers paling with the force. She'd long since known that Song Juguang's martial skills were outstanding, but she'd never imagined they'd be this great. They were still standing before her, and yet—

Song Juguang's next words cut off Jiang Changbai's train of thought. "Does Bixia still wish for them to stand guard here?"

Jiang Changbai felt a flash of desolation. She'd assumed that today she'd be able to deal away with Song Juguang, but she hadn't imagined that it would come to this. But things had come to such a point already, and now wasn't the time for regret. She could only smile and wave her hand as she said, "Why don't you all leave."

Unexpectedly, those imperial guards seemed to have been scared stiff, and they stood frozen on the spot until Song Juguang chided "leave" severely, and only then did they flee.

Everyone had left. At this moment, only Jiang Changbai and Song Juguang remained in the massive hall. Unusually, this place was used as a place for major gatherings, and it wasn't used even when court was in session. The places those people had been hidden in before were secluded and weren't lit up, and when one looked, they appeared pitch-black, like something would jump out from the darkness.

Song Juguang knelt down partway, so that her gaze and Jiang Changbai's were level. The two stared each other in the eyes, and Song Juguang said with some hidden bitterness, "So, you hate this minister so."

Yet Jiang Changbai shook her head, and said softly, "It's not hatred."

Song Juguang retorted questioningly, "Since it's not hatred, then why would you try to kill this minister?"

The simply question left Jiang Changbai tongue tied. Her lips parted and closed, about to speak, but she realised she couldn't say anything. There were simply far too many reasons for her wanting to kill Song Juguang.

Martial skills that were terrifying to a sovereign; a grasp on military might that left her in fear. Arrogance in her actions—the memorials impeaching her every day were like a blizzard.^[1] Among the common people, her fame surpassed that of the Emperor—they knew only the Regent, and not her majesty. Regardless of the reason, all were enough to lead to any period's senior minister's beheading.

But at this moment, having been asked so directly, Jiang Changbai suddenly recalled a great number of things she'd not noticed usually. That year, she'd wanted to dispel the military might in Song Juguang's grasp; Song Juguang hadn't complained in the slightest, but rather joyfully and eagerly suggested trustworthy persons for her. Among those whom Song Juguang had suggested, the majority of them weren't her confidants.

And speaking of her arrogant actions, in the end, they hadn't had any benefits for her at all. As for her fame among the people, Jiang Changbai had been cloistered in the Palace for a long time, and she had only two channels for understanding the populace. One was her ministers, and the other was the spies she'd secretly planted in the capital. But the censors and Song Juguang had long since become enemies, and her spies knew her vigilance against Song Juguang well.

It shouldn't be like this, Jiang Changbai thought to herself. She suddenly grew aware that she'd given the entirely opposite answer; she did hate Song Juguang.

She hated that, after she'd disappeared back then, she'd not left the faintest sign; she hated that her people in the capital hadn't communicated with her; and she hated that she'd breached the city walls and helped her ascend. After all, Jiang Changbai had, before that, anticipated that she'd behead the Tai Emperor herself, and take the steps, one by one, to the imperial throne herself.

Even if Song Juguang hadn't led forces in a rebellion, Jiang Changbai would still have conspired to revolt. But Song Juguang had interfered, and caused the imperial throne she'd initially intended to take herself to turn into something that someone else gifted her. It was the difference of a mere few characters, but it was the disparity of the heavens and the earth.

Song Juguang watched Jiang Changbai fixedly, and saw regret and hatred flash across her face. An unexpected sense of ache rose in her heart, but she still pulled a dagger from her breast.

"This was given to this minister by you back then," Song Juguang said, suddenly, nostalgia in her voice, and as she spoke, she placed that dagger into Jiang Changbai's hand. "This minister's life was saved by you; if you truly hate this minister, then simply kill me."

But Jiang Changbai didn't take it, merely allowing the dagger to slip from her hand and fall to the floor. The metal let out a sharp sound as it made contact with the tile. Song Juguang, seeing this, unhurriedly picked the dagger up and placed it in Jiang Changbai's hand once more, grasping her hand and pressing it against her own chest.

Song Juguang saw the faint redness of Jiang Changbai's eyes from having been held open for too long, and she could feel how her fingertips had grown frigid. With a grim laugh, Song Juguang said, voice somewhat hoarse, "Bixia, do you have nothing to say to this minister? Ah, but this minister has a lot she wishes to say to you. This minister has wanted to ask Bixia for so long—why don't you trust this minister?

"Whatever you've wanted, this minister has given you. The censors say this minister is arrogant inaction, but in five years ago, was this minister just as arrogant? At the time, this minister didn't dare do anything at all; everything I did, I asked for your permission, but didn't you fear this minister the same?

"At the time, you were afraid of the massive military might in this minister's hand, and feared this minister was duplicitous. Ah, but now, now this minister doesn't have a single soldier at her command, but didn't you still intend to kill this minister?"

As she spoke, a degree of misery pleading entered Song Juguang's voice. "You are the Emperor of the Great Li, and your heart aches for all. You worried the common people would be injured and killed in war, and you even tried to pacify Shejin. Even such a ignorant fool as Liang Jiwen, you assisted in becoming the King of Shejin.

"Then what of this minister? Why are you so draconian towards this minister?"

The more Song Juguang spoke, the greater the force of the hand grasping Jiang Changbai's grew. Jiang Changbai felt her hand throb from the force of her grasp, nearly about to shatter, but she didn't say a word, only let her squeeze it.

Because she didn't know how to answer. Even if Jiang Changbai weren't willing to admit it, she knew that Song Juguang was right. It seemed as if, from the moment they'd reunited, she'd already subconsciously started treating her as an enemy.

In these past few years, her treatment of Song Juguang couldn't be said to be fair.

Seeing Jiang Changbai still hadn't spoke, Song Juguang spoke once more. "If this minister wished to install herself as the sovereign, it would probably not have taken so long. At the time, when we stormed the capital, I could have charged directly into the Imperial Palace and taken the throne. But this minister didn't do so.

"I don't know if you remember—when we were young, you said if you were to be Emperor, this minister and Xie-daren would be your left and right hands. Now, you're truly the Emperor, and Xie-daren truly is the Great Li's irreplaceable minister. But what of this minister? Why have you always been so guarded towards me?

"If you truly hated this minister, why would you bring this minister back from among the refugees to Prince Ling's residence back then?"

Though Song Juguang was interrogating her, her voice trembled more and more, until, when she finally finished speaking, an unnoticed tear fell from her eye. The teardrop rolled down her cheek and spattered on the floor, and, by chance, happened to fall into the shallow groove that the dagger had carved out when it had fallen to the ground just then.

But the two didn't notice that at all; that dagger had already pierced the cloth over Song Juguang's chest, and had even cut a pale mark on her skin.

Now, the hall fell into silence, and the only sound was that of the drip of the water clock. Only after a long while passed did Jiang Changbai say, "I'm sorry."

A single apology; spoken for Song Juguang, and for the Jiang Changbai of their youth. Because, more than a decade before, Jiang Changbai had begun to have thoughts of revolt, and they had been because of the Tai Emperor's paranoia.

She hadn't understood why the Tai Emperor had been so afraid of everything; more than that, she didn't understand why the Tai Emperor had allowed loyal ministers to be subjected to injustice. But being questioned persistently by Song Juguang just now, the first thing Jiang Changbai had thought of was giving an explanation for herself.

She was Emperor. It seemed as if an emperor had to be vigilant towards everyone. But before she'd spoken, she realised that this sense of rightness and inevitability was what she'd abhorred the most in her youth. She was Emperor; she ought to cause the people to live happily.

The words rang like a clap of thunder in Song Juguang's mind; she raised her gaze to look at Jiang Changbai, waiting for what she would say next. But it was as if Jiang Changbai had swallowed a pill of muteness, and couldn't make another sound.

She was somewhat disappointed, but she still said, unsparingly, "If this minister's death could be enough for Bixia to relax, then it would be worth this minister to lose her life. But Bixia needn't go to such lengths as having imperial guards lying in wait; if you wish to kill this minister, you merely need to say it."

As she spoke, Song Juguang increased the force of her hand, the hand that was grasping Jiang Changbai's about to stab into her chest. The material of her clothes had been cut open, and a few bright red drops of blood rolled down the body of the blade.

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Translator's notes:

[1]: Technically the raws say 如同雪花一样, "like snowflakes", but in English snowflakes have a connotation of weakness rather than multitude.