Chapter 118: Relationship

Unexpectedly, the next moment, Jiang Changbai's wrist suddenly exerted itself, and in an instant, she wrenched her hand out of Song Juguang's grasp. Immediately, the blade in held tightly in her hand pressed against Song Juguang's neck, and Jiang Changbai glared fixedly at her, asking harshly, "You think We won't dare to kill you?"

After waiting a long moment, when Song Juguang didn't reply, Jiang Changbai reprimanded her once more, "Don't bring up any childhood friendship with Us."

Jiang Changbai didn't so much as blink as she spoke, and red crept into the whites of her eyes, appearing even more sinister under the reflection of the candle flame. She paused, and only then said, "It's true that A Guang was selected from among refugees, but Our A Guang was taught to read by Us, and her martial arts were learnt alongside Us as well; who she is, We couldn't know any better. It's impossible for her to lead forces and fight as you do, to know how to divine and auger, let alone to play at politics.

"Who are you?!"

One's true thoughts were always the hardest to speak, even in the form of a question. As a result, though Jiang Changbai wanted to know what Song Juguang had gone through in these years, when she asked it, it didn't sound like that. If someone else were there, they'd be hard pressed not to be shocked by Jiang Changbai's wretchedness.

The Emperor's hair, which ought to have been neat and orderly, had, after some point, fallen free, and the eyes which ought to be filled with a majestic aura looked like they were about to split with anger, and those hands which were usually used only to hold a brush were now stained with traces of blood.

Incredibly wretched.

But on the opposite, though a few wounds had already appeared on Song Juguang, her face didn't have the faintest trace of panic. If someone else were to see it, they might even assume that that dagger was held firmly in her own hand.

"This minister is, of course, Song Juguang," Song Juguang replied, still careless, and as she spoke, she turned her neck, allowing the blade to press against her beating pulse. "If I hadn't had some innate skill, how could I have been seen among the refugees by Bixia?"

The words lingered in the hall, and Song Juguang slowly raised her hand, covering Jiang Changbai's dagger-grasping hand once more. Her fingertips skated over skin, and Song Juguang touched Jiang Changbai's fiercely beating pulse, her raised veins, and the chill of her fingertips.

A sense of unbearableness rose in her heart. At this moment, Song Juguang held the determination that she had to die; to her, this body was merely a vessel, and even if the blood that circulated within her were to be bled dry, her soul wouldn't die.

But to Jiang Changbai, Song Juguang raised her gaze to look at her, unable to help the impulse to reach out and smooth the furrow between her brows, and suddenly, a question rose in her mind.

Had she forced her too much?

But though she wondered that, Song Juguang knew full well that, at this moment, there wasn't the slightest room to turn back between the two of them. There was no way to go back; there was only one path that could be walked today, and that was to say everything in full, and to clear up all their doubts.

So, Song Juguang spoke again, asking, "If Bixia suspects this minister's identity, you may recall, did you ever tell anyone before you ascended that you wanted to sit on this throne?"

A clap of thunder suddenly sounded in the hall, the lightning lighting up half the heavens. The candle flames, which had originally been swaying and flickering, seemed to have been frightened by the sudden sound of thunder, and they let out a wail and then guttered out. The hall darkened a few more degrees.

Jiang Changbai felt the light she could take in grow a bit weaker, and Song Juguang's figure grew a bit muddled before her as well. It seemed as if that clap of thunder had burst over her head; if she could have been said to have truly had a glimmer of suspicion about Song Juguang's identity before, having heard these words, that suspicion dispersed like smoke and dispelled like clouds.

Jiang Changbai remembered that scene even now. At the time, she'd only just returned from attending a late imperial banquet with Prince Ling, and had seen the Tai Emperor kill a senior official for a single sentence with her own eyes. No one of low status could attend such an imperial banquet, but even though they were all honoured in position, their lives were merely the matter of a single word from the Emperor.

The Tai Emperor didn't have the faintest hint of reverence, and that was the first time Jiang Changbai had seen the taking of a life. Perhaps because she'd been young, Jiang Changbai, on returning to the residence, had fallen severely ill. By chance, Xun Zhu had been allowed to return home to visit her family, and Xie Qianbing was celebrating the holiday with her family as well, and only Song Juguang looked after her without even changing her clothes.

Jiang Changbai recalled that, in her haze, she'd said that she wanted to be emperor; that she wanted to hold her life in her own hand. And she remembered the light that had flashed, frenetic, in Song Juguang's eyes before disappearing.

Such words, Jiang Changbai had never told anyone else again.

Seeing Jiang Changbai had grown stiff, Song Juguang knew she'd said the right thing, and so she pressed her advantage. "If Bixia hadn't said that to this minister then, this minister wouldn't have gone so far as to build everything up so painstakingly. I hadn't imagined that, now, it would cause Bixia to be so suspicious. As this minister sees it, it would be better to simply die."

As she spoke, Song Juguang grasped Jiang Changbai's hand once more, and forced the dagger over her own heart. "Bixia, in battle, when killing, if it's not shattering their skulls, it's rending their hearts. But it's far too wretched to shatter a skull; this minister fears alarming Bixia, so please, Bixia, end this minister quickly."

Her hand fell as she finished speaking, and Song Juguang closed her eyes, waiting for Jiang Changbai's verdict. But unexpectedly, the next moment, something liquid fell on Song Juguang's face, rolling down her cheek. What came with it wasn't the expected fierce pain of her heart being pierced, but the clear sound of the dagger falling to the ground once more, and warmth against her lips.

Jiang Changbai raised a hand to stroke Song Juguang's cheek, blood and tears mixing and slipping between the corner of their mouths, and a metallic, sweet taste rose in their mouths.

Hatred rose from love, and the deeper the hatred, the more certain the love.

Neither remembered when the kiss ended, only that when they parted, they both saw their own reflection vividly in the other's eyes.

Jiang Changbai slipped down from the Dragon Throne, and finally, the tears she couldn't suppress burst forth. The truth was, even she didn't understand where the tears were coming from, and could only let them rush forth. Song Juguang found it a little amusing; after all, it was she who was injured, so why was it that the one crying was Jiang Changbai?

But she didn't say anything, merely reaching out to embrace Jiang Changbai. The next moment, Jiang Changbai embraced her in return, and the two held each other in silence, as they had when they were young.

The rain fell outside the hall.

Of course, the imperial guards who had been driven out of the hall didn't know the charming scene within the hall, and could only stand on guard, scared senseless. Glancing back and forth at each other, no one dared to utter a word. Perhaps having guessed something, Xun Zhu emerged slowly from the rain, holding an umbrella, and, seeing them all standing guard outside the door, felt her heart go cold.

"Has Bixia not come out?" Xun Zhu grabbed a guard and asked urgently.

"That's—that's right," the guard nodded somewhat stiffly, as if still not having come out of the daze of the shock of having her blade broken in a flash by Song Juguang.

"And the Regent?" Xun Zhu continued.

"The Regent is still inside," someone else replied.

Xun Zhu followed by Jiang Changbai's side day in and day out; how could she not know clearly the world of difference between Jiang Changbai and Song Juguang's skill? With these guards, perhaps she could match her, but now, they were all standing outside the hall.

Though she believed Jiang Changbai was worthy and the heavens would aid her, she struggled not to feel that everything pointed to disaster.

But looking all about, she found the young imperial guards were looking at her as if she were the backbone of this, and she knew that she couldn't let the slightest bit of panic show on her face. Only after thinking on it for a long while did she say, "The, whoever comes out of the hall is the Emperor."

"Then—then what about you?" the guard who'd been grabbed by Xun Zhu finally came out of her daze, and asked with some puzzlement.

Everyone here knew clearly that Xun Zhu was Jiang Changbai's confidant; if Jiang Changbai were to perish, she wouldn't have a good end, either. But Xun Zhu had always treated them well, and often secretly came to give them medicine for their injuries.

"I have my own plans." Xun Zhu's hands tightened, and she let her nails bite into flesh. There was a small dagger in her breast; though it had no offensive use, it was more than enough to take her own life.

If her majesty were to pass away, Xun Zhu thought to herself, then she would most certainly not survive alone.

Those within the hall were equally as ignorant to the matters outside. If things were as usual, Song Juguang could have heard it all, but at this moment, she didn't have the slightest ability to pay attention to those mosquito-frail sounds. She only had a head full of chaos.

Before, Song Juguang had gambled with her life, wishing for Jiang Changbai to clear the misunderstandings between the two of them. But after, if things between them were righted, that would be fine, and if she were to lose her life, that was fine as well; she could stand it all.

But she hadn't imagined when she'd left the betting table, what she'd receive was a kiss. Now, not only had the misunderstandings not been cleared, another had been added.

"What does Bixia intend by that? Could it be that you wish for this minister to become your Empress?" Song Juguang only asked after the hall fell into silence.

Yet Jiang Changbai feigned at thinking it over heavily for a long while, and only then said, "If A Guang wishes it, most of the palaces in the Rear Court are empty."

Hearing this, Song Juguang's gaze concentrated on Jiang Changbai's face, and she discovered that the loss of composure of before had long since vanished, and the dignity of an emperor had returned.

Actually, at this moment, Jiang Changbai's mind was a mess as well; even she didn't understand why she'd kissed her just then. But she understood one thing clearly; Song Juguang most certainly wouldn't be willing to live in the Rear Court.

From antiquity, the Rear Court had been a cutthroat place; even under the previous male emperors, most women wouldn't be willing to step into such a lion's den, to say nothing of now. The incomparably well-known Regent would never be eagerly willing to let go of her authority and enter it.

But unexpectedly, Song Juguang didn't respond, and merely asked, "Bixia doesn't fear this minister taking your life in the middle of the night?"

Jiang Changbai didn't have her previous position, and she only said, lightly, "If you'd wanted to kill me, then you'd have long since done so. I was overly concerned, before."

Jiang Changbai couldn't recall whether she'd said something like that before, but she knew clearly that it was only now that it was genuine. Jiang Changbai's simple words were, to Song Juguang, like a pardon; Song Juguang felt the heavy boulder that had been pressing down on her heart for so long finally shatter at these words, and her entire body relaxed, as if freed from some great burden.

But Jiang Changbai's expression still bore some worry. Before Song Juguang could speak, Jiang Changbai's fingers stroked the wound on Song Juguang's neck.

"Does it hurt?" Jiang Changbai asked.

A faint smile that not even Song Juguang was aware of appeared at the corner of her mouth, and she said, "It's already scabbed over; if Bixia doesn't believe me, why don't you touch it and see?"

As she spoke, Song Juguang caught Jiang Changbai's hand, and pulled it towards her chest. But this time it lacked a dagger, and there were only two slender, well-defined hands.

Jiang Changbai immediately flushed a bashful red, even her ears splashed with it. She hurriedly snatched her hand back, and finally rose. However, Song Juguang wasn't willing to let her off so easily, and she stood along with Jiang Changbai, leaning forward, forcing Jiang Changbai to fall onto the Dragon Throne once more.

"Quick causing trouble," Jiang Changbai said, forcing the bearing of an emperor, "there's still people waiting outside."

Jiang Changbai had arranged for things before, and naturally she knew that Xun Zhu and the imperial guards were waiting outside the hall at this moment, waiting for her to push open the tightly closed doors, and waiting for the news of the Regent's passing.

But Song Juguang didn't have the slightest intent to move aside, and rather, came even closer, confusion on her face, and she asked, bewildered, "It won't be too late for Bixia to leave after answering this minister's question."

"What question?"

"What is this minister and Bixia's relationship now?"

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